Friday, July 31, 2009

RP Human Rights Chief Battles "Culture of Impunity" (A Special Report)

Manila – Commission on Human Rights (CHR) Chair Leila de Lima dared the government to end the ‘Culture of impunity,” declaring that “individuals and groups who carry out abductions and torture must be held into account.”

De Lima is currently hearing the case of Melissa Roxas, the Filipino-American activist who was allegedly tortured by soldiers from the Armed Forces of the Philippines (AFP).

Reyes, member of Bayan (Bagong Alyansang Makabayan) U.S.A., was abducted on May 19 in La Paz, Tarlac, during an exposure trip. Her companions Juanito Carabeo and John Edward Handoc, were also taken.

She was held for 7 days, and when she was released, quickly fled to the United States, where she held a press conference exposing her ordeal.

She revealed that, among other hardships, she almost suffocated to death when her torturers covered her head with a plastic bag, cutting off air.

Her abductors kept insisting she was a rebel and a spy, and was forcing her to sign bogus confessions.

Roxas returned to the country on July 20, accompanied by the 10-member fact-finding delegation of the United Methodist Church California Nevada Conference. She was met at the Ninoy Aquino by NCCP (National Council of Churches of the Philippines) secretary-general Fr. Rex Reyes, Karapatan secretary-general Marie Hilao-Enriquez, Rep. Erin TaƱada and Bayan Muna Party-List Rep. Satur Ocampo.

Also closely monitoring the developments is the United States Embassy. “We take the safety and security of American citizens very seriously and will watch the case closely,” says spokesperson Rebecca Thompson.

As of writing, Roxas is with the CHR; and on July 30, she is set to appear at the Court of Appeals regarding the Writ of Amparo she filed.

The Writ of Amparo is a special legal instrument that gives protection to those whose rights were violated by the government.

The AFP dismissed Roxas’ testimony as “Scripted,” but AFP Chief of Staff Gen. Victor Ibrado has instructed Army Chief Lt. Gen. Delfin Bangit to investigate – and the latter replied that the soldiers there told it wasn’t true and they had nothing to with it.

“I am not saying that there were absolutely no people involved,” Ibrado told mediamen. “There is always a possibility that some soldiers were involved, but we cannot just go on and investigate them because it might be perceived as witch-hunting.”

The human rights watchdog Karapatan revealed that since Gloria Arroyo became President in 2001, the number of “Enforced disappearances” has jumped to an alarming 202 – plus 1,010 tortures and 1,013 extrajudicial killings.

United Nations Special Rapporteur Philip Alston, during his on-site investigation, called the Philippines the “Killing fields” of journalists and peasant leaders – and the then Justice Secretary Raul Gonzales called him the muchacho (Spanish for “servant”) of the U.N.

De Lima has written an insightful report, “Human Rights Violations Rise,” which appears on the July 23, 2009 issue of the Philippine Daily Inquirer, a road map for the government to re-engineer its policies and protect basic inalienable human rights. Here are some of the most important excerpts:

1) “First of all, one way to gauge the true commitment of President Macapagal-Arroyo to the promotion and protection of human rights is whether she will certify the charter of the Commission on Human Rights as urgent,” de Lima says. As of now, the CHR is powerful only on paper.

2) “Another way to gauge the commitment of a country to human rights is to see which treaties it has ratified.” CHR lauds the government’s ratification of the 2nd Optional Protocol of the International Covenant on Civil and Political Rights, and the passage of Republic Act 9346.

The former abolishes the death penalty, and the latter prevent its re-imposition.

“Ms. Arroyo, however, has recently made statements expressing an intention to revive the death penalty. We remind her of our binding legal obligation under the protocol. We cannot renege on this duty,” writes de Lima.

3) “The Philippines has not ratified the Optional Protocol Convention Against Torture and Other Cruel, Inhuman or Degrading Treatment or Punishment (OPCAT), the International Convention for the Protection of All Persons from Enforced Disappearance (ICAED), and the Rome Statute of the International Criminal Court.”

The OPCAT legally lays the structure of regular inspections by independent international bodies. The ICAED would greatly help find people abducted by military elements. The Rome Statute “would allow the International Criminal Court to prosecute crimes and atrocities of the gravest nature carried out in the Philippines and break the culture of impunity,” says de Lima.

Arroyo’s term will end on the noon of June 30, 2010. “The current administration has several months left to turn things around,” reminds de Lima. “Whether it will do so is an open question.”

(See 2-part video of Melissa’s personal revelation. Read De Lima’s full Inquirer article. Melissa Roxas poster courtesy of MassMovementTV. Your comments are welcome and will be answered. Link you blog with EasyHyperLinks)

Tuesday, July 28, 2009

Would You Commit Euthanasia?

Socrates asked a lot of questions. That spelled his doom – and ensured his immortality. No less philosophically, Mandy Moore and Jonathan Foreman chalked up a hit single with Someday We’ll Know while giving us food for thought. I, for one, don’t know if the captain of the Titanic cried, or why Samson loved Delilah.

But questions are meant to be answered, right? Of course not all – most, actually – of them don’t have one, but that’s beside the point. Then there are questions that ignite your intellect and unnerve your entire being.

Allow me to share some of human nature’s tricky moral dilemmas in a Q-&-A format, with paraphrased queries based on The Book of Questions (© Workman Publishing, NY) by Gregory Stock, Ph.D., who says:

“Whether you use it as a tool for self-discovery or as a provocative way to stimulate conversation, this books constantly challenges attitudes, morals, beliefs – and it challenges you.”

Q. A beloved person, who is paralyzed, suffering extreme pain and will die within the month, begs you to poison him to end his agonies. Would you it?

A. Yes, I would. I believe in the inherent sanctity of life, but my belief is not absolute. I would rather suffer from the guilt of killing him outright than the guilt of watching his agonies, and not doing anything about it.

Q. Can you live in a different country with the one you love most, even if it means never again seeing your friends and family?

A. Yes, because true love is the sweetest pleasure imaginable, and also because this is the perfect time to say Yes. We now live in an era of unprecedented global communication, and being homesick has become a matter of choice.

Q. Would you choose to be a spectacularly successful professional but a lonely person, or a mediocre professional but a happy man?

A. I would take my chances on being the latter, recognizing that loneliness is part of being human, and that success enables you to make a positive contribution to the world. In the end, what matters is not whether you’ve been happy or sad, but whether or not you’ve been helpful and productive.

Q. If God appeared to you in your dreams and told you to sacrifice your child to inherit His Kingdom, what would you do?

A. I would seize those opportunities to question Him about the wisdom of such drastic actions. “Surely,” I would tell Him, “if Thou can create the universe, then Thou can communicate in a level I can understand.” I have faith that God is wise enough to appreciate conundrums.

Q. Your brother has AIDS. Would you avoid him?

A. Of course not! I’m an advocate of safe sex, and if there is anything I know about HIV-AIDS, is that it’s not transmitted through non-sexual physical contact.

Q. You and your beloved are locked in separate rooms. You both must push a specific button in your rooms within 60 seconds. The first one to press the button will save the other but will be executed. What would you do?

A. As soon as they bring me to my compartment, I would press the button. One of the things I’ve always puzzled about myself is that I never felt the fear of death. I would cross over the Other Side knowing that my last act was to save a life, and that alone would’ve made everything worth it. The fact that the person I saved is the one I loved most doubles and solidifies my sense of peace.

Q. Would you agree if friends and relatives will tell you exactly what they think of you, no-holds-barred?

A. Yes, I would; in fact, I would embrace such honesty whole-heartedly. If they say negative things about me, I would use it an opportunity to tell my side of the story, so to speak. If they begin to see and my actions in a different light, then praise God; if not, then so be it. I do not chase after applause, but it is important for me to let people know exactly where I stand.

Q. Do you judge people with a standard that is higher than yours?

A. No, that’s because it’s hypocrisy. I think the word judge has a negative connotation in this context, but we all form definite ideas about other people’s characters. In that sense, I always use the same yardstick I apply to myself. Just to give you an idea: I get disappointed by a greedy person because I know – and have proven to myself several times – that I am not like that.

Q. Do you think your soul will be able to rest in peace if your mortal body has been left to rot in the wilderness?

A. It will not bother me, if that answers your question. My belief about the afterlife is more Buddhist-oriented: I believe in reincarnation, ergo, I don’t invest emotionally on the Christian concept of Heaven. What will happen to my soul depends upon my actions on my present and past lifetimes, and not whether my body received a decent burial.

Q. You’re a Born-Again pastor. Would you stay for 90 minutes in a nudist beach?

A. Yes. I would even swim. Hallelujah!

Q. If you found out that your best friend leads a double life as a hired killer, what would you do?

A. First: I will not condemn him personally, but I’ll tell him straight that I do not approve of his actions without using emotional blackmail. Second: I’ll tell him that I would not snitch on him, but he can never use my house as a refuge from the law. In other words, I would not treat my friend as an enemy, but I would not be with partner-in-crime either.

Socrates photo courtesy of DangerousCreation. See the video and lyrics of "Someday We'll Know"

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Sunday, July 26, 2009

Why The World Needs People Power


Voltaire and Benjamin Franklin both warned that when people choose personal convenience above civil liberties, they are doomed to lose both. Those who equate People Power with “mob rule” don’t see it for what it really is: a vibrant manifestation of the citizens’ inalienable rights to free speech and assembly.

If Richard Nixon didn’t resign when the Watergate scandal broke out then he faced impeachment by bribing Congress, the people would have taken to the streets. Americans don’t understand our political situation because they never came to that point, and this is true as with the Japanese and South Koreans.

This is because public officials in nations with a tradition of honor step down on their own initiative when they have broken the law, abused their powers, tainted their office and lost their mandate.

There is nothing Unconstitutional about People Power. It’s just that we Filipinos are like stubborn mules: we need a solid whack in the head. It’s amusing since we don’t have mules in the Philippines, but it’s not a joke to realize that we are one of those countries without a tradition of honor, and that’s why the world needs People Power – to remind us that true democracy is, and always will be, the freedom of the people to uphold the rule of law.

This freedom should be defended, in the immortal words of Archibald McLeish, “by truth when it is attacked by lies; by democratic faith when it is attacked by authoritarian dogma. Always, and in the final act, by determination and faith.”


Image courtesy of DocMuzic. This story originally appeared in the Op-Ed section of BusinessMirror. It also appeared in AllVoices -- with videos

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Friday, July 24, 2009

A Prayer for Cory Aquino

Manila – As the nation prays for the recovery of former President Aquino, a series of healing masses across the country united a chronically-fragmented society.

“A Prayer for Tita Cory” was written by Margarita Juico, Mrs. Aquino’s appointments secretary and editor of Cory Aquino: An Intimate Portrait.

The final version came from Makati Rep. Teodoro “Teddyboy” Locsin Jr., Cory’s presidential speechwriter, and one of the best wordsmiths of his generation.

2Rivers joins the nation in praying for Cory’s recovery by reprinting that prayer in full, courtesy of Inquirer.net.

Prayer for Tita Cory

"Father in heaven, Source of goodness and strength, Author of life and love and liberty, we come to You to pray for our sister Tita Cory, the mother of our freedom, source of our strength in its constant defense. We come to You with heavy hearts at the thought of all the suffering she has endured because we will not let her go.

"You took the hand of our Tita Cory through every trial she has undergone, every challenge she confronted, and every cross she took on herself – from the imprisonment, exile and assassination of her beloved Ninoy, to the liberation of our country, and the unflagging defense of freedom. Take her hand again and ease her pain; give her, in what life You will still give her, a measure of the Infinite Joy that surely awaits those who suffer with you.

"Lord Jesus, You took on our human nature to free us from the dominion of evil. Look with loving kindness and care upon our Tita Cory who, in humble imitation of You, freed us from the domination of evil in our political life. Not once, not twice but again and again, with every threat of its return.

"Divine Healer, Source of wisdom and light, stay with Tita Cory the way she has always stood by Your teachings in the face of every temptation offered by power and position. To You alone she has always turned because she loves you with the expectation of no other reward but to love You even more.

"Blessed Mother, bless and protect the family of Tita Cory, her children and her grandchildren. Let them feel, in this trying time, the grace of which Dear Mother you abound. Allay their fears and anxieties, with the promise of your constant presence and protection. Soften the pain at the sight of their mother’s suffering. Let them find peace in your grace, Dear Mother of God, comfort in your love, solace and strength in your Blessed Mother’s example at the passion and death of your Son.

"In the name of God, Almighty Father Who gave us Tita Cory; in the name of His Son Jesus Christ Who suffered and died for our sins; in the name of the Holy Spirit -- let us pray that she whose every heartbeat is an act of love for God, whose breath is a prayer and every exhalation a divine praise; let us pray that from this moment her pain will cease and she will know the perfect peace, the unceasing grace, the indescribable joy of the union she has always sought to keep with God.

"Dear Lord, give us the strength to bear whatever may come with the courage, fortitude, and grace that our beloved Tita Cory has shown at every crisis of her life in our nation’s cause -- so that our conduct shall honor her example and show us worthy of her devotion to God, to country, to Holy Mother Church, and to us. When the final hour comes to us as well, remind us, Dear God, of her example. All these we ask in Jesus’ name. Amen."

Photo of Cory courtesy of Wawam. This story originally appeared in AllVoices – including Cheche Lazaro’s complete 4-part “Probe” special feature; and the complete video of Cory 's historic speech at the United States Congress.

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Abu Sayyaf Amnesty -- NO! NO! NO!

Manila – First, I want to state for the record that I deeply admire and respect Senator Richard Gordon, concurrent national chairman of the Philippine National Red Cross – I even want him to become President – and his starring role in my story “The League of Extraordinary Filipinos” should speak for itself.

But I disagree with him about granting amnesty to the criminal syndicate Abu Sayyaf – a bunch of traitorous and greedy kidnappers, nothing more and nothing less.

Our world is full of evil, but still, if you look closely, you will find the good side of a bad guy, even a kleptomaniac Manila police or an extortionistic MMDA traffic enforcer.

But the Abu Sayyaf has absolutely no redeeming value whatsoever.

Am I being judgmental? You mean you are not? They can judge me – and I’d still say that the Abu Sayyaf are scum of the earth.

The July 16, 2009 editorial of the Philippine Daily Inquirer captured the sentiments of 2Rivers. Here are some of the salient passages, courtesy of Inquirer.net.

“The idea is assuredly well-intentioned, but it is based on a fundamental error and must be rejected.”

“The amnesty proposal is based on the misconception that the Abu Sayyaf Group – shifting and expanding and shrinking and shifting again over at least the last decade and a half – is an ideological organization with political aims. But no, it most emphatically isn’t. It is a criminal enterprise, whose fortunes ebb and flow according to the failure or success of its kidnapping operations.”

“We ask: To solve the dangerous crime of armed robbery, should we declare an amnesty for all bank robbers?”

“The Abu Sayyaf is a bandit group; it is a loose network of criminal gangs that grows whenever there is a successful kidnapping.”

“For criminals like these, amnesty will not work. It will simply embolden them to continue doing what they are doing.”

Richard Gordon photo courtesy of WorldNews. This story originally appeared in AllVoices

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Thursday, July 23, 2009

A Celebration Of Life: The World According To James Herriot

Music: the opening theme of the original Dear Kuya Cesar radio show. Images: blue sky, white clouds, rolling countryside, verdant meadows, flowing streams and majestic mountains.

Cut to: sunshine filtering through the swaying leaves of a tree. The camera pans to the distant moorland road where a small figure is pushing a baby carriage.

Cut to: the top of the upward bend of the road. The baby carriage appears first, then the young man pushing it. As they head towards the camera, the “baby” moves and is revealed to be a large greyhound dog.

If writing is acting, then James Herriot is the male version of Meryl Streep. Possessing the spark, the flawless instincts and above all, the humanity, the unforgettable veterinary surgeon from Yorkshire stands in a category unto himself.

The world’s most beloved author celebrates life with his immortal classics All Creatures Big and Small; All Things Bright and Beautiful; and the book that most closely mirrors my semi-charmed kind of life: All Things Wise and Wonderful.

How? Let me count the ways.

Did you ever experience talking to two people about two different subjects at the same time? I have. So did James Herriot. He was examining Nellie the cow’s swollen hoof as her owner Mr. Birtwhistle was suggesting remedies while his son Len was gushing about the village football team.

“I always think it is polite to look at a person when they are talking to you,” recalls James, “but it is different when they are both talking at once, especially when one of them is bent double and the other one is standing behind you.”

When I feel down, I always find healing in solitude. So did James. When he was worrying about Mr. Mount’s sick horse, he left his car on the road and went into the woods.

“Here there was a silence that was absolute,” he writes. “The farm lay in one of the soft places in a harsh countryside; lush flat fields where cattle grazed in comfort and the cut hay lay in long even swathes. It was a placid scene, but it was here in the airy heights that you found true serenity.”

Like Ted Failon, I always thank the Lord for the blessings of life. But in all honesty, I would rather die than lose my freedom. I deeply admire Rodney Traver’s lifestyle: traveling the north England countryside, doing odd jobs along the way, then moving on – with only his dog Jake and a baby carriage for company. He and James met in Mr. Pawson’s farm in Darrowby. The farmer salutes his versatile skills and disciplined work ethic.

“He gave me his gentle smile and again I had the impression of physical and mental purity,” marvels James. “No drinking, no smoking, a life of constant movement in the open air without material possessions or ambitions – it showed in the unclouded eyes, the fresh skin and the hard muscular frame. He wasn’t very big but he looked indestructible.”

When I was a teenager, I learned the hard way that people are not always what they seem. I’ve lost count of those whose PR are as true as election documents thumb-marked by cats. Take Paul Cotterel, the devil-may-care bachelor whom James and I both admire:

“That attractive casualness, the nonchalant good manners, the imperturbability – they all had their roots in the fact that nothing touched him very deeply.”

Paul was dignified even when his beloved dog Theo had to be put to sleep because of Hodgkin’s disease. “He had been able to do the right thing,” says James, “because he was not at the mercy of his emotions.”

So it was a great shock for both me and James when Paul committed suicide. It turns out that he’s been under medication for chronic depression for years. “He had an unhappy childhood from what I made out,” his landlady told James. “Maybe that’s why he was so fond of his dog. He got too attached to him, really.”

One of my most cherished dreams is a world without bureaucrats. If Dante had seen those ER doctors who fuss like government clerks, he would have built another bolgia in hell. But my heart is still filled with thanksgiving because I have also seen a lot of physicians who have risen above themselves to help save lives.

Two of them are James and his boss Siegfried Farnon. One night, a mangled sheepdog (details are too gruesome) was reported in by Police Constable Phelps. James and Siegfried were already dressed for the much-anticipated Hunt Ball, but when they saw the dog, they immediately did a operation that lasted way past midnight – although they both knew that the dog was just a stray.

I treasure the companionship of elderly folks who radiate wisdom and grace. When James takes a stroll by the river with his beagle Sam, they always encounter Mr. Potts with his sheepdog Nip. Mr. Potts is a retired farmer, and they would always talk shop brimming with warm memories.

“They were good days, Mr. Herriot, weren’t they?” he reminisced stoically the day before he died. “Aye, aye. Ah’ve a lot of them days. Hard but good. And awd Nip shared ’em with me, didn’t ye, lad?”

Although I try to see beauty everywhere like in the Tavares song Hardcore Poetry, I love communing with nature more than anyone can imagine. When James was going home after vaccinating Mr. Daggett’s calves in the Yorkshire Dales, it was pure serendipity:

“As I drove away, the somber beauty of the place overwhelmed me. The lowering hillsides burst magically into life as a shaft of sunshine stabbed though the clouds, flooding the bare flanks with warm gold.”

Music: the closing theme of the Dos Por Dos radio-TV show

All dogs go to heaven unlike their masters who keep returning like vote-shavers. For thousands of years I have roamed the world through various lives but it is my adventures in the present sojourn that made me who I am inside, and for that, I am grateful.

Always remember: as long as the world still turns, and as sure as God made rainbows, life is a miracle – beautiful, captivating and magical.

As the poet Cecil Frances Alexander (1818-1895) wrote: “All things bright and beautiful,/ All creatures great and small,/ All things wise and wonderful,/ The Lord God made them all.”

James Herriot photo courtesy of TodayInLiterature.com. This story originally appeared in the 2007 My Favorite Book Contest, Lifestyle Section, The Philippine Star, July 1, 2007

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Tuesday, July 21, 2009

Hex Files

This new poem, Hex-Files, is based on a true story – a supernatural encounter. The actual events are hidden behind humor-oriented imagery, but they are in consonance with the deeper meanings of this macabre – and cautionary – tale. It is about the battle between good and evil…and other things.

The creator of Hell paid a visit,

but I don’t know if Ripley will believe it;

just my luck I was home reading

Frederick Forsyth’s The Devil’s Alternative;

he wants my oft-transmigrated soul

and some menthol cigarettes,

but I, only Winston had; red filters,

so said I, divine, but menthols

are poison critters; anyway,

the biggest oil tanker in the world

was hijacked, and the KGB chief

in cold blood was murdered

by fundamentalist Ukrainian Jews,

and a nightingale sang in Berkeley Square;

but the Transfer, unused, jazz group

Manhattan, super-cool, darkly;

Nightingales is not a sleeper

nor a mole in the Palace

but a spy just so; by the way,

the Devil overcame his rheumatism,

unlike in his filibusterous visit

to Ivan Karamazov, who was, frankly,

not to speak impolitely, saner than we;

Hell in suffering from inflation,

gas prices are reaching Heaven,

so for matches I was summoned,

for sulfur he is addicted, apparently,

the idiot inhales the fumes,

like PX-smuggled perfumes,

but only a lighter without flashlight I had,

therefore, requested song was pirated;

You, said he, like Faust,

will inherit more than Job,

only accept the Temptations

ignored by a few,

like the Egyptian magician

in the wilderness who said, No!

but I, unlike he, said, I don’t know!

I’ll write Eddie Ilarde for advise, I added;

and Satan said, What the hell?

I shall return, he added,

and bade farewell.

Photo of Al Pacino in "The Devil's Advocate" courtesy of Listal.com

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Sunday, July 19, 2009

True Faith: Timeless Insights From Norman Vincent Peale

A highly strung young man was feeling guilty about his past and apprehensive about his future. Then he came across the book A Guide To Confident Living by Norman Vincent Peale, and he was able to say later, “I realized that what I had been seeking all these years had indeed been the thing closest to me – faith in God.”

Pastor, best-selling author and motivational speaker Norman Vincent Peale D.D. has brought inspiration and spiritual renewal to millions, and in his own way, made this world a better place. Personally, I cannot imagine my life without his influence. Allow me to share with you some life-changing lessons from a book he wrote with Dr. Smiley Blanton called The Art of Real Happiness.

It is very empowering to me, and I hope it would touch your life like it did mine. As Dr. Peale wrote: “The unconquered and the unconquerable of this world are those who have mastered the art of faith. They draw constantly on this inner source of strength for they have acquired and hold ever fresh in their hearts an abiding faith in a Higher Power, and in their own destiny.”

Peace of Mind

The greatest trait of all is self-respect. “If a man’s esteem for himself is a poor, weak thing, his love for his fellow man will be no better.” Self-knowledge is the key to self-control. Each individual abides by his own code of honor. “A wise person will try to avoid feelings of guilt by avoiding the acts that cause them.” He will fine-tune his moral compass and anticipate the possible consequences of his actions.

“But as human beings, we are also prone to moral lapses.” It is when we violate our own principles that we feel anguish. “And so it is an absolute rule of successful living that one must be able to feel forgiven” if he “seeks God’s forgiveness, and his own as well.”

We need to learn to let go of yesterday. “To press on with a mind clear of a sense of guilt, time must be permitted to close over the past, and the energies must be concentrated on the present. Only so are we able to live at peace with ourselves.”

Pressure

The human body is the most highly complex mechanism known to man – even a computer can’t do jumping jacks. It requires proper maintenance for maximum efficiency. The body and the mind are one, and we need to be in an environment that is conducive to mental, emotional and spiritual development ion the same way we need exercise and a balance diet.

Strike a balance between work, rest and play. Evaluate your abilities and goals honestly. Use your resources to complement your abilities so you can reach our goals. And after giving it your best shot, let Go do the rest.

Depression

Hope is a miracle in itself. A hero lies in all of us. Accept that negative thoughts can take root and destroy us from within. “To be rid of worries from the past, practice the art of forgetting.” Dr. Peale shares this Biblical gem as a personal mantra: “Forgetting those things which are behind, and reaching forth unto those things which are before, I press toward the mark.”

Say positive affirmation everyday until they become second nature. He advises adopting Scriptural verses as our own, such as Christ’s reminder that we are more loved than the sparrows in the field. Learn to recognize trivialities and ignore them. He quotes William James: “The essence of genius is to know what to overlook.”

Honor the inner sanctum of your soul. “Practice the art of imperturbability.” Meditate. Empty your mind. Then fill your mind with prayer and inspiring thoughts. “Practice feeling God’s presence”. A young man whom Dr. Peale taught wrote: “With God’s help now, I am learning to meet my daily problems and overcome my fears. I have experienced an amazing change and outlook in life.”

People

Cardinal rule: “Never criticize anyone until you have prayed for him first.” Constructive criticism is a test of Christian love. “These are 5 key words for success in you relationship to others: Love, Politeness, Criticism, Praise and Thoughtfulness.” Dr. Peale cites a Chinese proverb: “The enemy is best defeated who is defeated with kindness.”

Marriage

The glory of marriage is building a loving and serene home for the couple and their children. “Before you marry, be sure that you know that your minds as well as your hearts are attuned to each other.” A couple should evolve together. “Do not allow one of you to stand still, while the other marched ahead.”

Keep in mind that marriage is a union of two equals, sharing both the triumphs and the disappointments. “Learn the wisdom of talking things over frankly.” Discuss the problem with the aim of solving it. “Do not be timid about discussing money.” Open communication involves clear understanding about finances.

Avoid unfair expectations. “Your wife cannot be a mother to you, nor your husband a father.” Value loyalty. “Never discuss your mate with family and friends.” Treat your children as unique individuals and “help them develop.” Be part of a positive social circle. Surround yourselves “with friends who have ideals similar to your and who believe in the same things.”

Remember that marriage is a vow. “The determination to make it work is of the utmost importance. Its success may depend n this attitude.”

Bereavement

There is nothing as painful as the death of a loved one. But oftentimes, we punish ourselves with guilt. When somebody dies, his soul looks back and remembers only the good things, and “all he sees is the fineness of your character and the greatness of your love.”

First: It’s okay to cry. “There is a healing force in the free expression of sorrow. The period of mourning is necessary and natural.”

Second: Let go. Do not deny that he is dead. Avoid euphemisms, “just say ‘died’. It helps your accept it.” Treasure the happy memories and be thankful that such a beautiful person has blessed your life.

Third: Life goes on. “Even in the midst of grief, try, as best as you can, to go on with your usual tasks.”

“As a fourth great step in meeting bereavement, we suggest turning to the Bible.” You will find some comfort here. The Scriptures can teach us to trust in God with all of our heart, for he is our light, the lamp upon our feet.

People come and people go – alone. It is an act of love not to let them “become too dependent on us or we to them.” And above all, “we can best prepare for death through the unshakable belief that we shall meet again.”

Growing old

It is wise to always step back and appraise our life. Age doesn’t matter; there is always time “to cultivate generosity, kindness, unselfishness, sympathy, tolerance. an appreciation of the value of every individual as an individual, and a willingness to let other people think and feel differently than we do without being angry at them.”

You are not your body, which “grows old, but the spirit need not. The real person need never deteriorate under the decaying effects of time.” It’s all in the mind. “As long as the mind remains alert, flexible, tolerant and undominated by hatred and resentment, it can function at peak efficiency well beyond three scores and ten.”

At any time in our life, “above all in our later years, we certainly should take as our motto: Live one day at a time.” To be forever young, you don’t have to Cory Quirino. “As long as one wakes up each morning and eagerly thinks what great things may happen that very day, one is young.”

And the ultimate fountain of youth is God. “To live with power and to achieve self-fulfillment is to bring God from the shadowy edges of the mind into its bright center. It is to master the most demanding, and yet the most rewarding, of all human achievements, the art of real happiness.”

[The Art of Real Happiness also presents the immortal 12-step recovery program of Alcoholics Anonymous, and is a treasure trove of unforgettable characters.]

Norman Vincent Peale photo courtesy of ESPN. This story originally appeared in the 2006 My Favorite Book Contest, Lifestyle Section, The Philippine Star, May 14, 2006.

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