August 24-30 Edition
Jonathan Aquino's Journal
August 4, 2013
8:51 p.m., Sunday
Lahug City, Cebu
I'm in another transition. What an evanescent
life. I seem to be a ghost, like the lead character in Man of Steel, though I'm living my life to the fullest that only a true artist can understand. I'm looking at the Waterfront casino
building that looks like a Maharaja's palace from my French-style balcony. I'm chillaxing, soothed by the sound of music
from my radio on earphones, trippin' on songs I haven't heard for quite a
while. Always brings a smile.
I'm a kid of the
90s, and I had this vision of getting married to Alannis Morisette. It's super
nice to hear Hand In My Pocket again after all these years. And yup, I still
love her.
"What it all comes to
is that everything's gonna be
fine, fine, fine!
'Cause I got one hand in my pocket,
and the other one's making a high
five...!"
The song that
came next is David Lee Roth's version of Just a Gigolo (I Ain't Got Nobody).
I'm thankful that my life is the opposite, though I really like the song.
The weird thing
is that it makes me happy
"I ain't got nobody!
Nobody! Cares for me!
Nobody, nobody!
I'm so sad and lonely...!"
I always
remember that scene in Mad Dog and Glory where Robert De Niro plays it on the
jukebox while investigating the scene of a crime.
I honestly can't
imagine anything cooler than that
August 5, 2013
2:11 a.m., Monday
Lahug City, Cebu
I just finished a cigarette on my
balcony, with the ashtray on the sill of my French window, with only my
underwear. I hope the city skyline won't mind.
My article,
"Immortal Dictums From Rock Legends" got published in Panorama last
Sunday, and I made a special blog page for the soundtrack: Rock Legends. I've
just written some scenes for my latest screenplay. I finished reading a book
about conspiracy theories and I'm going to write some blog vignettes about them
before I return it to my buddy Harvey.
In a little
while, I will meditate, having done my daily quota of squats and push-ups,
though I haven't done my yoga moves yet. I need to purify my body, mind and
spirit, and hopefully I can regain my ability to read minds, like Charles
Xavier
I uploaded my
short film, Cebu: City of Angels, on YouTube last week.
I'm slowly
recovering from my encounter with Doomsday, my code word for a traumatic experience
that's still too raw to share with anyone, though I doubt if I ever will. I
found new friends who are bringing back my shattered faith in humanity. I'll be
on the road again soon; after all is said and done, that's where I really
belong.
I'm sitting on
the floor beside my bed again, like Peter in The Amazing
Spiderman, thinking
about how easier life would be if I'm like everybody else, at the same time
realizing that I wouldn't change a gosh darn thing if I had to it all over
again.
10:22 p.m.
I just did my daily round of squats and
push-ups. It's better to be consistent than to be burning with zeal one day and
go POOF! the next. I'm about to go out when it starts to rain. I think it's a
sign that I should stay home. I start working on a writing project instead,
typing on my phone as I lay on my bed.
I'm on the radio
again, and the first song is I'll Be Over You by Toto, one of my all-time
favorites.
"Some people live their dreams,
some people close their eyes;
some people's destiny passes by..."
I'll make this
moment special by jotting down happy thoughts while trying to finish my
screenplay which I'll soon transform into the novel that will be my
masterpiece, but I won't spend the night listing songs. Then came One In A Million,
which I spoofed in a poem I wrote immediately after getting lost in La Loma
Cemetery in All Saints Day in November 1, 2003, when I was living in Quiapo,
Manila, which is one of the places where I have set my short novel Fisherboy. I was in La Loma to
pay my respects to one of my closest friends, Jimmy Locsin, who died that year.
I was the only physical mortal in the farthest part of the cemetery where
Jimmy's grave is. I wasn't the least bit scared even if it was in the dead of
night, pardon the pun.
I'm not afraid
to die. I treat Death as my constant companion, as I learned from the Yacqui Indian
sorcerer Don Juan Matus from the books of Carlos Castañeda. Don Juan Matus is
part of "My Most Unforgettable Literary characters," one of my
earliest published stories, in Panorama on January 2005.
I think of
Death, memento mori, and it grounds me and adjusts my perspective on what's
really important in my life.
Just when I'm
writing the love story of my character Alfonzo, a young man who will become a
vampire, next came the Twilight theme A Thousand Years by Christina Perri, my
favorite of all the songs I heard since I arrived here in Cebu earlier this
year.
It's about
immortality.
"I have died everyday
waiting for you,
darling, don't be afraid,
I have loved you
for a thousand years..."
11:09 p.m.
I saw three blinding lightning arrows
come down from the sky above the Waterfront parapets. The dark sky is dancing in
the spectacular aerial show. Wow, an electrical storm, and I have a front seat
on my balcony! Awesome! Mother Nature rocks!
11:37 p.m.
On my story is a confrontation which
will become a rescue scene in a 17th century public market. And on my radio is another
song that's special to me: My Fair Share by Seals & Crofts.
"Lost,
lost as a child's first thought,
I must have arms to hold me,
lost without love and care,
I must have my fair share..."
After switching
to another station, I happily stumbled across another long-lost gem: Something
In Your Eyes by Dusty Springfield
"Something in your eyes I see,
is all I ever wanted,
and something in your smile for me
is calling out my name..."
Playing next is
a song I find really cute: the piano solo Out Of My League by Stephen Speaks
"It's fright'ning to be
swimming in a strange sea
but I'd rather be here
than on land..."
I can't believe
that what played next is one of my most cherished songs of all time: What
Matters Most by Kenny Rankin.
"An early morning smile
we tearfully recall,
what matters most
is that we loved at all..."
August 6, 2013
12:07 a.m. Monday
I really like Where Are You Now by Honor
Society. I first heard early last year on a bus going to Tanza, Cavite where I was
living at the time, and the bus was getting passengers diagonally across the
semi-deserted Uniwide Mall before entering Coastal Road.
I am me and I'd
rather be me than be someone else. The song says everything I want to say to
the people who had touched my life.
"Where are you now,
'cause I'm thinking of you,
you showed me how,
how to live like I do;
if it wasn't for you
I would never be who I am..."
August 9, 2013
4:34 a.m., Friday
I went to my barber downtown in
Manalili. On Osmeña adjacent to Colon, I bought a bottle of Drakkar. When
budget is short, I get by with baby cologne. People always tell me I smell
nice.
Then I went to
SM in Mabolo. I watched the players in a cafe with tables designed as chess
boards.
There's a show
in tribute to the revolutionary war hero Andres Bonifacio. The main audience
are school kids.
On my pocket is a
guitar-shaped keychain with real strings, emblazoned with "Cebu,"
which I bought yesterday in Ayala mall in the business district. That's where I
also bought a couple of ounces of original Jovan Musk. My parents died when I
was a baby and one of my few memories of my dad is that almost-empty bottle of
cologne. The scent is special to me though I used CK Obsession during my
"showbiz" days.
August 11, 2013
3:44 a.m., Sunday
Lahug City Cebu
I'm starting this day like how I want to spend the
rest of my present lifetime: waking up at dawn, meditating and doing my yoga.
Breakfast is hot chocolate with a local bread variety named Francis.
Yesterday I was
with Chad, one of my closest friends here, who studied law at Ateneo de Manila
and scion of one of the influential political families in Cebu. We were
chilling, strolling like tourists downtown. I treasure moments when I'm with
good people, unwinding from the stress from work, just shooting the breeze but
with sense.
I've always felt
like the modern-day bohemian Troy (Ethan Hawke) in Reality Bites. My favorite
scene is when he was walking down the street with Lelaina (Winona Ryder)
pointing out the many places where he had worked for a while and then had left.
"You see,
Lelaina, this is all we need" says Troy. "A couple of smokes, a cup
of coffee, and a little bit of conversation. You and me and five bucks."
Chad and I had
lunch in the historic district of Colon, the oldest street in the Philippines.
It was a open-air restaurant that's famous for it's mami, rice noodles in
steaming hot stew. We also had ngohiong, a local vegetable dish rolled in
lumpia wrapper and crispy fried. Finally, I got a taste of rice made from corn
grains.
Beside a
gigantic old-school metal electric fan is a radio playing Pusong Bato. I'm in
the Visayas, and this popular ear-bleeding song is perfect.
"Akala ko ika'y langit,
'yun pala sakit ng ulo..."
We spent the afternoon in Plaza Independencia park in front of the 16th century Fort San Pedro. It was a beautiful day, the weather is just perfect.
I remember telling an American expatriate earlier this week that I fell in love with Cebu because the climate is fine and there's no traffic jams and floods unlike in Metro Manila. He agrees, saying the air is free from pollution.
Chad and I chillaxed in a bench facing the Malacañan Sa Sugbo port office and the sea beyond it. The breeze was heavenly, the sensation of its gentle caresses is worth the journey. I like Cebu, and I'm beginning to feel at home. But I don't belong here. This is not my home for the simple reason that I don't have one. I confessed all these existential musings to him.
We had dinner at the popular row of sugba grill eateries on Osmeña Avenue which only opens at night. The way to immerse in the Cebuano culture is to eat outdoors with your bare hands. I happily demolished the large grilled fish and pork barbecue, along with a staggering eight pieces of pu-soh, rice that was cooked while wrapped in strips of coconut leaves the size of golf balls. It was a delicious culinary adventure.
Sure, I'm an outsider in Cebu. I
never pretended otherwise. But I'm glad to be here. Someday I will have to
continue my voyage, but I don't want to leave just yet
8:39 a.m.
I just got back from having breakfast in
Jollibee I.T. Park with some friends from my last company: CJ, Joanne, Jessica,
Carolyn and Robert. Then we trooped to 7-11 beside The Walk for some
choco-vanilla sundaes.
I bought a copy
of The Manila Bulletin. My article on Richard Feynman is
published in the Panorama Sunday magazine today. Also, it's about time I learn
about what's going on in the world. There was an
massive oil spill in Manila Bay. There was also a bomb scare in the major
cities here in the Visayas region. That's why I saw a S.W.A.T team in Colon in
front of Gaisano mall yesterday.
August 14, 2013
7:16 p.m., Wednesday
Lahug City Cebu
I began reading Paulo Coelho's The
Pilgrimage at the Cebu City Public Library around two in the afternoon. I
finished a third of the book, until the waterfall scene, when they closed at
five. I have to go back. Paulo is on a mystical quest in the San Tiago
Compostela. His guide is Petrus, sort of a sorcerer.
"The good
fight is the one that's fought in the name of our dreams," says Petrus.
"Many times in our lives we see our dreams shattered and our desires
frustrated, but we have to continue dreaming."
I'm now in my
apartment reading The First $20 Million Is Always The Hardest by Po Bronson,
one of my favorite writers whose style I find so sparkling and original. The
hero of the novel, Andy Caspar, is having his exit interview.
"Can you
give us some idea of why you are choosing to leave?"
"Can you
give me a good reason to stay?"
Bronson also
wrote The Nudist On The Late Shift and Other True Stories of Silicon Valley,
which inspired my story, "Silicon Valley: Where Ideas Change The
World", which was published in Philippine Panorama on August 16, 2012.
I bought $20
Million yesterday in Booksale in Robinson's Fuente along with Como Hablar Con Sus
Angeles by Kim O'Neill. What I'd saved for tuition for the Spanish class in
Instituto Cervantes in Manila last January instead went to my magical mystery
tour to Quezon, Bicol, Samar, Leyte and Cebu where I'm now.
During the ride
home on the shuttle-style jeep, the man on my right kept looking at me. He
seems to be pushing his legs next to mine.
"What time
is it?" he asked.
"6:42,"
I told him.
"Is that
advanced?"
"Yeah."
I took out my mobile phone. "6:38," I said, checking the time there.
"That's
correct?"
"Yeah,"
I replied. "Philippine Standard Time," I added. It is. I've
synchronized it.
He said
something.
"I don't
speak Visaya," I said.
We were talking
in Tagalog and cruising down Escario past the Capitol going to Gorordo.
"Where do
you live?"
"I.T.
Park."
"Call
center?"
"Before."
I'm used to
strangers coming up to me. I don't even have issues with gays trying to make a
pass. What I found uncomfortable is the way the other passengers were looking
at us. They seem to find it fascinating. I find them parochial.
People who stare
have no class.
August 15, 2013
5:47 p.m., Thursday
Plaza Independencia
Cebu City
I'm in the park doing a scientific
experiment. I'm checking if it's conducive to writing. I'm sitting in one of
it's few benches, near the Filipino-Japanese Memorial, and they're all too
narrow. Plus there are strange insects over my head. So my experiment is not
giving me positive results. But it's not a failure. There's no such thing as
failure.
I started the
day doing yoga and strength-training exercises. Then I spent the rest of it at
the library. Physical and mental. Balance. Harmony. I thank my Higher Self for
an idea that popped this morning. I can now turn my library times into
something practical and enduring. I'll write magazine articles on everything I
read starting today. My first is about the eminent theologian Harry Emerson
Fosdick, with stories from an encyclopedia of the supernatural like the ones
about the Swedish mystic Emanuel Swedenborg and the Israeli telekinetic Uri
Geller.Who else will do
that?
A lamp post
beside the bandstand casts its pale spotlight on the dimming grass. I take a
stroll and sit on the steps around the statue of the late President Magsaysay.
The spotlights hurt my eyes. Night has fallen. The V-shaped Veterans Memorial
stands blazing in the darkness. I find it symbolic and fitting.
Heroes should
never be forgotten.
12 comments:
"In matters of style, swim with the current; in matters of principle, stand like a rock."
~Thomas Jefferson
The Paradoxical Commandments
"People are illogical, unreasonable, and self-centered.
Love them anyway.
If you do good, people will accuse you of selfish ulterior motives.
Do good anyway.
If you are successful, you will win false friends and true enemies.
Succeed anyway.
The good you do today will be forgotten tomorrow.
Do good anyway.
Honesty and frankness make you vulnerable.
Be honest and frank anyway.
The biggest men and women with the biggest ideas can be shot down by the smallest men and women with the smallest minds.
Think big anyway.
People favor underdogs but follow only top dogs.
Fight for a few underdogs anyway.
What you spend years building may be destroyed overnight.
Build anyway.
People really need help but may attack you if you do help them.
Help people anyway.
Give the world the best you have and you'll get kicked in the teeth.
Give the world the best you have anyway.”
~Kent M. Keith
The Silent Revolution: Dynamic Leadership in the Student Council
"Looking at the matter from the most rigidly scientific point of view, the assumption that, amidst the myriads of worlds scattered through endless space, there can be no intelligence, as much greater than man's as his is greater than a blackbeetle's, no being endowed with powers of influencing the force of nature as much greater than his, as his is greater than a snail's, seems to be not merely baseless, but impertinent. Without stepping beyond the analogy of that which is known, it is easy to people the cosmos with entities, in ascending scale until we reach something practically indistinguishable from omnipotence, omnipresence and omniscience."
~Thomas H. Huxley
Essays Upon Some Controverted Questions
"What distinguishes a great artist from a weak one is first their sensibility and tenderness; second, their imagination, and third, their industry."
~Salman Rushdie
"The books that help you most are those which make you think that most. The hardest way of learning is that of easy reading; but a great book that comes from a great thinker is a ship of thought, deep freighted with truth and beauty."
~Pablo Neruda
"Life is a series of natural and spontaneous changes. Don't resist them - that only creates sorrow. Let reality be reality. Let things flow naturally forward in whatever way they like."
~Lao Tzu
“Coach: "All right, Patch. let's say you're at a party. the room is full of girls of all shapes and sizes. You see blondes, brunettes, redheads, a few girl with black hair. Some are talkative, while other appear shy. You've one girl who fits your profile - attractive, intelligent and vulnerable. Dow do you let her know you're interested?"
Patch: "Single her out. Talk to her."
Coach: "Good. Now for the big question - how do you know if she's game or if she wants you to move on?"
Patch: "I study her. I figure out what she's thinking and feeling. She's not going to come right out and tell me, which is why i have to pay attention. Does she turn her body toward mine? Does she hold me eyes, then look away? Does she bite her lip and play with her hair, the way Nora is doing right now?”
~Becca Fitzpatrick
"Hush, Hush"
"If you hate a person, you hate something in him that is part of yourself. What isn't part of ourselves doesn't disturb us."
~Hermann Hesse
"Zen does not confuse spirituality with thinking about God while one is peeling potatoes. Zen spirituality is just to peel the potatoes."
~Alan Watts
"If winning isn't everything, why do they keep score?"
~Vince Lombardi
.
"... What an evanescent life...."
.
.
"Can you give me a good reason to stay..."
.
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