Dolph, A Deer

Saturday Stories

January 6, 2018

Jonathan Aquino

I

Our company owner asked me if I can name all of Santa's reindeers. "Rudolph," I said, "Dasher, Dancer, Prancer, Vixen, Comet, Cupid, Donner and Blitzen!" I know them because I just recently made a recording of "A Visit From St. Nicholas."

There is another one, he said, and he'll give five hundred pesos if I can tell him who that is. I quickly Google-d it: I got them all and there was nobody else. I was intrigued.

"The Who?" I asked.

"Olive," he said.

"That's Popeye's girlfriend," I told him. "You know, the one with no boobs?"

"You haven't heard of Olive, the other reindeer? he grinned.

"Ah!" I smiled, and began to sing: "Olive, the other reindeer, used to laugh and call him names! They never let poor Rudolph join in any reindeer games!"

II

On our Christmas exchange gifts at the office, we also had small kris-kringle gifts with a different theme every week. The first was something that starts with "i" – and I got a stack of index cards. There was a note with a smiley: "Enjoy!"

I've no idea how to enjoy a bunch of index cards, so I gave them away. It could have been worse: One of my co-workers received itlog (eggs). Yet it gave me the inspiration for a knock-knock joke which I inflicted on a friend:

"Knock, knock!"

"Who's there?"

"Itlog!"

"Itlog who?"

"Rudolph the red-nosed reindeer, had a very shiny nose, and if you ever saw it, you would even say Itlog!"