My Favorite Miriam Santiago Jokes Part 2

Saturday Stories

March 3, 2018

I have five close friends from way back who are not active on Facebook but we are constantly in touch through PM. Three of them want to see what I look like now. That's 3 out of 5: not bad, and to think that 2 out of that 3 are my ex. So I sent them my latest photo.

Then another friend asked through Messenger for a "Part 2" of my English translations of my favorite Miriam Santiago jokes. This would be fun, and though it's not "Due to insistent public demand," here is the sequel to our Miriam lines.

I

Gosh you're rude! You didn't even knock but you went straight into my heart!

II

A crush is like a math problem: if you can't get it, just stare.

III

Let's play, but anything except hide-and-seek – because someone like you is hard to find.

IV

Let's have an exhange gift: What's yours is mine and I'm yours.

V

Are you Google? Because everything I'm looking for I found in you.

VI

Can I walk you home? Because my mother told me to follow my dreams.

VII

Can I have a blood test? So you'll know you're my type. 

VIII

I wish you were my cardiologist – so you'll take care of my heart.

IX

I wish I was a scientist – so you will be my lab.

X

I wish I were your exam – so you'll give me your answer.

XI

How do you tell a person that her underarm is dark without offending her? 'What's deodorant do you use, shoe polish?'

XII

How do you tell a woman she's fat without offending her? 'What lotion do you use, gravy?'

XIII

Two students were talking after an exam.

B1: Do you have answers?
B2: All blank!
B1: We're dead!
B2: Why?
B1: They'd think we copied from each other! 

XIV

And here is my favorite in this batch: I'm not fat – I'm just so sexy it overflows! 

See My Favorite Miriam Santiago Jokes Part 1