Missing My Lighthouse


Huggybear's Stories
May 31 to June 6 Edition

February 28, 2014
Friday

This is my text message to my childhood friend GD

I haven't been to my lighthouse in Nova Scotia in this lifetime yet. But I'll go to Cyprus first before Canada. That's still next year. Just when I'm preparing to travel further, a lot of people are telling me to settle down. "Oh my personal life is fine," I would say, hoping they'd get the hint. But they don't. Just this morning, a colleague, who keeps bugging me about my private affairs, seemed to want to run my life her way. The gall of these people, I thought. Why is it that the less they know, the more convinced they are that they know everything? "It's unfair," I told her, "because you're stressing yourself about my life when I'm not even thinking about yours!" I said that like a joke.

"Who the fuck do you think you are, and who the hell do you think you're talking to?" was what I meant.

March 31, 2014
Monday

This is my text to my best friend RG

I'm changing course again. I can see myself doing an adventure exploration show like Bear Grylls. It's okay for me to swim naked in semi frozen lake with a camera following me.

What's the point? Well, to get to the other side, of course! If they don't blur the film over sensitive parts, that's okay too.

At least once I would like to jump into a passing ship from an iceberg floating out towards the ocean. I prefer facing a rattlesnake than a swarm of wasps, but you can't be choosy in the wilderness. You can if you want to - if you live to tell the tale. I saw his top favorite Bear vs Wild episodes a couple of months ago.

Bear Grylls
How To Stay Alive


"To this day it still me makes me smile that we made it," says one of the guys in his expedition about the time Bear was hanging on a biplane doing 180 degrees over the endless Texas skies. "This one definitely took me to the edge." Huggybear Grylls. Sounds like I'm an illegitimate prodigal son.

April 2, 2014
Wednesday

9:56 a.m.

I've chosen to stay in a cheap place to save money for things that need to be done. All in all, the experiment is successful. Now I have all the signs that it's time to move on. Some of the details are too grisly. It has to be quiet, large, cool in the daytime, near my work, concrete and it should never be in a slum.

I searched this morning. The only place that meets most of the criteria is more than twice my current rent. I can afford it but the room has to serve my needs to make it worth the price. The room is large enough for certain things I want to do that I can't do where I am now, like break-dancing. Now I have to decide. This is when I'll get to see my intuition in action.

10:30 p.m.

Yup, my gut instinct is right. As usual. Sleeping over it this afternoon, I've decided I won't take it. I had this negative vibe about the landlady. I felt greed on her aura. She wants me to pay two months ahead already, and she also lives across the building so my visitors will be under surveillance. If my girlfriend becomes a regular visitor, the landlady will double the rent.  I really don't believe that raking in money is worth it if people with discernment cannot think highly of you.

April 3, 2014
Thursday

I was in Mandaue City in Cebu this morning.

 In an amusement arcade after a KFC breakfast, a friend and I found a game similar but better than Dance Revo: you follow a computer-generated dancer like doing zumba.

I used to be a dancer. I haven't done it for quite a while and I don't have any videos. But I do now. I'm glad I still have the moves.

       It was Moves Like Jagger.

Moves Like Jagger
Maroon 5
with Christina Aguilera


        But I would have preferred Insomnia

Insomnia
Performed By Gary Valenciano and Billy Crawford


"Because I can't sleep til you're next to me,
no I can't live without you no more...!"

Insomnia
Craig David


“Oh I stay up til you're next to me
Til this house feels like it did before!
Feels like insomnia, ah ah...!"

I lost my glasses earlier too. I think the universe is sending me a message. I have to live in harmony with my thoughts. So if all my affirmations of perfect health were to have any meaning at all, I should start improving my eyesight.

I checked my copy of Dianetics this morning. It's possible. Thousands of people have done it. A reservoir of self-healing energies lies dormant inside the mind of mind. That's clear to me. So, this morning I moved like Jagger and saw my need to achieve 20-20.

Yesterday, my best friend here in Cebu has left for Manila. Last night, I was shocked by the gall of a greedy co-worker. It's not about money. It's about character.


April 4, 2014
Friday

One of the many blessings that steadily flow into my life came this morning. I now have the option of getting a bank loan with a help of a friend. All I need is to say yes. I believe this is the Law of Attraction at work. I'm thankful for this, and the attitude of gratitude is what keeps the channel open. The fact that wealth is part of my positive affirmations shows that I want money. I find it useful. I'm not interested in gadgets and lifestyle, so if I decide to take the loan, I'll just put it in the bank. I view money as my ticket away from unwanted situations. It means freedom. That is priceless.


 April 8, 2014
Tuesday

A friend of mine had conjunctivitis, also known as sore eyes. I stared into his eyes. This was last week, and I'm still not infected. Nor do I want to. I'm glad. I have a strong immune system. I've known how it is to sick in the course of this lifetime, but I realized that all those came when I let down my mental defenses. That's when I became vulnerable. I hope they will never happen again. I can dance in the rain without even a hint of a sniffle. So I guess antibiotics won't work for me.  It's the same with coffee. I could drink a gallon before going to bed and I'd still fall asleep. What keeps me awake is something else.


Comments

"I never thought that I'd fall in love, love, love, love!
But it grew from a simple crush, crush, crush, crush!
Being without you girl, I was all messed up, up, up, up!
When you walked out, said that you'd had enough-nough-nough-nough..."
"Just shoot for the stars
if it feels right
and aim for my heart
if you feel like
and take me away
and make it OK
I swear I'll behave..."
"Few will have the greatness to bend history itself," says Robert Kennedy. "But each of us can work to change a small portion of events, and in the total; of all those acts will be written the history of this generation."
"It takes truth to live with a swiftly changing world," says L. Ron Hubbard. "Nothing less than truth can survive. You cannot survive with anything less than truth."
"Did I offer peace today? Did I bring a smile to someone's face? Did I say words of healing? Did I let go of my anger and resentment? Did I forgive? Did I love? These are the real questions. I must trust that the little bit of love that I sow now will bear many fruits, here in this world and the life to come." ~ Henri Nouwen
Huggybear said…
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“I'm thankful for this, and the attitude of gratitude is what keeps the channel open..."

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