Missing My Lighthouse

Huggybear's Stories

May 31 to June 6 Edition

February 28, 2014

Friday

This is my text message to my childhood friend GD

I haven't been to my lighthouse in Nova Scotia in this lifetime yet. But I'll go to Cyprus first before Canada. That's still next year. Just when I'm preparing to travel further, a lot of people are telling me to settle down. "Oh my personal life is fine," I would say, hoping they'd get the hint. But they don't. Just this morning, a colleague, who keeps bugging me about my private affairs, seemed to want to run my life her way. The gall of these people, I thought. Why is it that the less they know, the more convinced they are that they know everything? "It's unfair," I told her, "because you're stressing yourself about my life when I'm not even thinking about yours!" I said that like a joke.

"Who the fuck do you think you are, and who the hell do you think you're talking to?" was what I meant.

March 31, 2014

Monday

This is my text to my best friend RG

I'm changing course again. I can see myself doing an adventure exploration show like Bear Grylls. It's okay for me to swim naked in semi frozen lake with a camera following me.

What's the point? Well, to get to the other side, of course! If they don't blur the film over sensitive parts, that's okay too.

At least once I would like to jump into a passing ship from an iceberg floating out towards the ocean. I prefer facing a rattlesnake than a swarm of wasps, but you can't be choosy in the wilderness. You can if you want to - if you live to tell the tale. I saw his top favorite Bear vs Wild episodes a couple of months ago.

Bear Grylls

How To Stay Alive

"To this day it still me makes me smile that we made it," says one of the guys in his expedition about the time Bear was hanging on a biplane doing 180 degrees over the endless Texas skies. "This one definitely took me to the edge." Huggybear Grylls. Sounds like I'm an illegitimate prodigal son.

April 2, 2014

Wednesday

9:56 a.m.

I've chosen to stay in a cheap place to save money for things that need to be done. All in all, the experiment is successful. Now I have all the signs that it's time to move on. Some of the details are too grisly. It has to be quiet, large, cool in the daytime, near my work, concrete and it should never be in a slum.

I searched this morning. The only place that meets most of the criteria is more than twice my current rent. I can afford it but the room has to serve my needs to make it worth the price. The room is large enough for certain things I want to do that I can't do where I am now, like break-dancing. Now I have to decide. This is when I'll get to see my intuition in action.

10:30 p.m.

Yup, my gut instinct is right. As usual. Sleeping over it this afternoon, I've decided I won't take it. I had this negative vibe about the landlady. I felt greed on her aura. She wants me to pay two months ahead already, and she also lives across the building so my visitors will be under surveillance. If my girlfriend becomes a regular visitor, the landlady will double the rent.  I really don't believe that raking in money is worth it if people with discernment cannot think highly of you.

April 3, 2014

Thursday

I was in Mandaue City in Cebu this morning.

 In an amusement arcade after a KFC breakfast, a friend and I found a game similar but better than Dance Revo: you follow a computer-generated dancer like doing zumba.

I used to be a dancer. I haven't done it for quite a while and I don't have any videos. But I do now. I'm glad I still have the moves.

       It was Moves Like Jagger.

Moves Like Jagger

Maroon 5

with Christina Aguilera

        But I would have preferred Insomnia

Insomnia

Performed By Gary Valenciano and Billy Crawford

"Because I can't sleep til you're next to me,

no I can't live without you no more...!"

Insomnia

Craig David

“Oh I stay up til you're next to me

Til this house feels like it did before!

Feels like insomnia, ah ah...!"

I lost my glasses earlier too. I think the universe is sending me a message. I have to live in harmony with my thoughts. So if all my affirmations of perfect health were to have any meaning at all, I should start improving my eyesight.

I checked my copy of Dianetics this morning. It's possible. Thousands of people have done it. A reservoir of self-healing energies lies dormant inside the mind of mind. That's clear to me. So, this morning I moved like Jagger and saw my need to achieve 20-20.

Yesterday, my best friend here in Cebu has left for Manila. Last night, I was shocked by the gall of a greedy co-worker. It's not about money. It's about character.

April 4, 2014

Friday

One of the many blessings that steadily flow into my life came this morning. I now have the option of getting a bank loan with a help of a friend. All I need is to say yes. I believe this is the Law of Attraction at work. I'm thankful for this, and the attitude of gratitude is what keeps the channel open. The fact that wealth is part of my positive affirmations shows that I want money. I find it useful. I'm not interested in gadgets and lifestyle, so if I decide to take the loan, I'll just put it in the bank. I view money as my ticket away from unwanted situations. It means freedom. That is priceless.

 April 8, 2014

Tuesday

A friend of mine had conjunctivitis, also known as sore eyes. I stared into his eyes. This was last week, and I'm still not infected. Nor do I want to. I'm glad. I have a strong immune system. I've known how it is to sick in the course of this lifetime, but I realized that all those came when I let down my mental defenses. That's when I became vulnerable. I hope they will never happen again. I can dance in the rain without even a hint of a sniffle. So I guess antibiotics won't work for me.  It's the same with coffee. I could drink a gallon before going to bed and I'd still fall asleep. What keeps me awake is something else.

Michael Ruff

May 28 Midweek Musical 

Huggybear's Favorite Song From Michael Ruff 

I Love You More Than You'll Ever Know 

Photo courtesy of labibledelawestcoast.blogspot.com

Illumination

May 24-30 Edition

Herman Hesse

Tony Robbins

Loving Nature

Talking To Strangers

Hermann Hesse

March 25, 2014

Tuesday

This is my text to my childhood friend GD

When I replied to your text message this morning, I found myself writing a timeless essay about who I am, where I am and where I want to be at this point in my life.

I have revised it, like a Buddhist monk tending a bonsai, and the new version has given new life to my magazine article about Siddharta, the young hero of Herman Hesse's classic novel.

Hesse has faced the same emptiness when it seemed his juices had run dry, not knowing what will come next as Siddharta has finally achieved spiritual enlightenment. What happened to me earlier is like the burst of creativity that inspired Hesse to finish his unforgettable story of the young Brahmin who I've identified with so much. I'm on a Zen state of mind.

See also my story on Hesse's Siddharta 
and Beneath The Wheel and The Journey To The East

Tony Robbins

April 6, 2014

Sunday

I live my life with my personal guide posts. I learn ideas from the lives of others, get only what's right for me and apply them to my own.

I got one of my core values from Tony Robbins. "If you keep doing what you're doing," he says, "you'll end up getting the same results."

The idea is: if I want a new destination, then I have to go into a new direction. If I stay on the same path, then I'll end up going around in circles, stuck without even realizing it until it's too late. I will never be like that.

Tony Robbins

How To Focus

Tony Robbins is one of the stars of one of my published magazine articles, "Insights From My Virtual Mentors," which is now part of Huggybear's Corner, my first non-fiction anthology.

Talking To Strangers

March 6, 2014

Thursday

I was having my coffee break around dawn, planning my coming vacation leave.

I was thinking how I had forgotten that a Higher Power is guiding my life. 

I can't believe how much I had stressed myself lately about things that, as desirable they as they are to others, have no significance to me.

A guy came up to and asked for a light. He asked me if I'm going to the gym today. Apparently he recognized me. I didn't know him.

"You're from Manila, right?" he asked.

Actually I'm Atlantean, I thought, smiling inwardly at a private joke. I'm used to people who say they know me. Of course they really don't. None of them do.

He began telling me about his plans to go there and set up his own foodcart business in no less than high-end Bonifacio Global City. His own company, mind you, not some overpriced franchise for sissies. He said he would love to ride in the crowded MRT train. That means contacts, he told me, which means more customers.

I'm also used to I'm also used to carrying on a smooth, talkshow-like conversations with anyone. I even prefer total strangers than plastic acquaintances who show their "concern" with unwelcome advice about how I should live my live.

Loving Nature

April 5, 2014

Saturday

I love the outdoors. I love fresh air. I love to gaze at the clouds that serenely go by on Indian summers. I love watching the stars twinkling in the night sky. My heart is full of love.

If I were to design my own house, it's going to be in a farm. I love to plant, to work in the soil, to make things grow. I love animals and trees and running water and living rocks. I will build a Zen garden, my own refuge from the madness of the crowd. I will breathe in the healing and purifying energy of nature. I will live in harmony with the planet. I will be at one with the universe.

Conviction of The Heart

Kenny Loggins

(See the Huggybear's Favorite Songs From Kenny Loggins)

"One with the earth,
with the sky,

one with everything in life!

I believe we'll survive
if we only try..."

James Ingram

May 21 Midweek Musical

Huggybear's Favorite Songs From James Ingram

Where Did My Heart Go

Whatever We Imagine

Somewhere Out There

with Linda  Ronstadt

[Theme from An American Tail]

An American Tail

Yah Mo Be There

with Michael McDonald

There's No Easy Way

Just Once

One Hundred Ways

How Do You Keep The Music Playing

with Patti Austin

with Dionne Warwick

Baby Come To Me

with Patti Austin

Photo courtesy of MusicStack.com

The Freedom To Leave

May 17-23 Edition

March 29, 2014

Saturday

These are my marathon text replies to JM, a childhood friend who popped from out of nowhere again.

I've been in Cebu for over a year. I feel like I've stayed too long. Some of the most significant aspects of my life I have kept to myself. There is so much that people here don't know about me, specially the profound changes I've been going through. It doesn't stop people from thinking they can intrude into my private life.

Nature doesn't allow a vacuum. Narrow minds who don't know the full story will fantasize their own scenarios. The less a person knows, the more he insists on imposing his ignorant and unwelcome opinion.

***

I was touched by his declaration of loyalty though I won't quote any of his messages. I forgot to ask how on earth he knew I'm in Cebu. I actually wrote that piece earlier this month. I still feel the same. It's one of my drafts in my phone Notes meant for a different story. I feel it becomes even more poignant because someone I really care about has done something that hurt me so much just this morning. I already have a number of reasons to leave, and now I feel I'm slowly running out of reasons to stay.

I sent JM another text this afternoon, after Eragon on cable, gym in Ayala, buying 5 pounds of whey protein powder in Lahug and watching videos of Esther Hicks channeling Abraham and Darryl Anka channeling Bashar.

Eragon

Abraham

The Secret Behind "The Secret"

Bashar

On Lucid Dreaming

"How's life treating you bro?" I said. "More accurately, how are you now responding to the things that come your way? I now believe that our attitude holds the key to finding inner peace. It's been years since we last saw each other. Was that in Cubao or Lucban or Canlubang? Since then, my experiences here in Cebu that gave me illumination but which also destroyed my faith in humanity and almost crushed my spirit, has transformed me completely. I want to think that I've become a better man, though I'm not sure that the wounds and the scars in my soul would ever heal again." As I send it, I'm in my present but soon to be vacated lodgings near Mabolo.

"Did you try to live on your own..." goes the song on the radio. I did - all my life.

21 Guns 

Green Day

"I honestly don't know," I told JM when he asked when will I return to Manila. "I found a measure of peace here, not because of the place, but because I've created the quiet and simple life I've always yearned. But my ideal life is to have the freedom to leave anytime. I don't belong here, in the same way I don't belong anywhere, for the simple reason that I never had a home. My only family is you guys, and even though we're separated by distance, I hope that the bond of friendship we have built over the years will last a lifetime."

I'm too poofed to pop. I've gotten used to physically exhausting days after my night shift work, but I was blindsided by the unexpected emotional pain this morning. I'll drop to bed after writing this. It's now 6:32 on a Saturday evening, and it's all about telepathy and psychic dreams in my blog 2Rivers tonight. All I need to finish tomorrow are the cover letters to the editor so I can send the manuscripts for my magazine articles inspired by Herman Hesse's Siddharta and George Noory's Worker In The Light, both of which I've written in the past week that shine as testaments to my spiritual convictions.

One of my favorite original Filipino songs of all time and one that I want to sing on stage is playing on the radio. I could have written the lyrics, that's how it resonates to me, but that will be an entirely different epic saga.

"I won't take so much of your time..."

Maybe

The Neocolours

See More Songs From The Neocolours

"Maybe it's wrong to love you more each day

'cause I know it's here to stay,

but my love is strong,

I don't know if this is wrong,

but I know to whom you should belong..."

You can be alone without being lonely. Me, I'd rather be alone most of the time. I would choose solitude over social climbing any day of the year. I seem to be getting more sensitive in feeling other people's auras that I feel drained when I'm in a crowd. Some would think there's something wrong with me, and I think that crowd pleasers and social climbers should have their heads examined, as if I care about what they say. Gee, I can't even imagine myself not writing. I feel so blessed that I have a passion that serves as my compass and anchor. I'm really old school so I prefer reading something on paper than from a screen. I prefer paperbacks than eBooks though I want people to download mine, hahaha! It's okay, you don't have to reply instantly: I'm trying to compose my next articles anyway. Don't worry, I like to compose while texting because it helps me organize my thoughts.

My texts to my friends also appears on my blog as snapshots of different times in my life. Lately, I would revise them, like a Zen monk tending a bonsai, and make them part of a magazine article. I first did it in my story on Robert Kiyosaki which got published earlier this month, and the one about Siddharta which I sent earlier. One of my greatest blessings in life is that I found really good friends in Cebu even as I won't comment on the local culture. My three best friends here are JC, CB and NJ plus a lot of people I get along superbly with. I tend to use just initials on my journal to protect their identity. I respect privacy as much as creed even if I'm not religious in any conventional way.

So let me tell you what I did today. The first thing was to meditate, using a lesson I just learned yesterday from Bashar, which I'll tell you more later. Then for breakfast I had a large glass of chocolate flavored whey protein powder which I bought yesterday. I woke up around nine in the morning after sleeping for over twelve hours to make up for how my graveyard shift work has been screwing up my biological clock. Then I went to the gym. I'm doing yoga instead of calisthenics to warm up. I got my routine from the Hodge Twins and Vince Del Monte through their YouTube tutorials. I am what's apparently called an ectomorph, although I don't limit myself by other people's labels. I'm slim by nature, and I need to exert extra effort to build muscles unlike people with different body types. I don't have a personal trainer - but I got Google.

The Hodge Twins

Advice For Hardgainer Ectomorphs

Vince Del Monte

6 Weeks Effective Ectomorph Training Program

The large gym TV was showing Paranorman on StarMovies as I did my stretching exercises beginning with the Sun Salutation.

I like Norman, I really do. I was around six when I saw my first ghost, also a young girl like Aggie. I saw myself as a kid in Norman. Then I thought: was I ever than thin?

Norman's encounter with the cursed girl is like one of my soliloquy. Yeah, I've known the feeling of wanting to seek revenge on those who really hurt you. Even Norman knows what's it like.

"What good would it do?" he says. I don't remember having that kind of thinking when I was eleven. 

ParaNorman

He's right of course. But revenge can be so sweet.

The next movie was White Chicks. I was laughing so hard that my dumbells almost slipped.

"Are you wearing lipstick?" asked Gina as she found her husband Marcus hiding in a plush motel room.

"It's Kool Aid," he improvises. He can't tell her that he and his FBI partner Kevin were on an undercover mission where they are impersonating two socialites.

"Is that a bra?" said Gina, shocked, as she sees what he's wearing under the white cotton robe. She then catches Kevin - dressed like a woman. Gina walks out, leaving her two-timing bastard of a husband.

"It's not what you think!" protests Marcus. "He's a man!" 

White Chicks

I started the day with laughter, and that's a good thing.

I like people to experience working in a call center at least once. You'll be amazed at how you'll develop your communication and multi-tasking skills. The ever-present question is not even a question. "Tell me about yourself," the interviewer would ask. This is where they will gauge your proficiency with English. You don't need to have an American accent but it should be clear to native speakers of the language. Being fluent, like speaking effortlessly, is a definite edge. The thing about grammar is that incorrect usage stands out and tend to be remembered by the interviewer. The purpose is not limited to language alone. It's your opportunity to present yourself as an ideal candidate. Just describe your strong points and relevant experiences. Ultimately, it's how you make them perceive you. So they would ask you to tell them about yourself. The rest is up to you - and everything flows from there.

I'm a very proactive person, I said my during my interview. I take initiative and I derive great satisfaction for excellent work. I learned to be a good team player when I was in the theater, in a dance group and in playing basketball. I have an eye for details, having worked as an events organizer for rock concerts. I have long term plans for this company and I plan to apply as a supervisor as soon as I become eligible. I've been in a position of leadership as the president of the student council. I'm good in leading and motivating people because of my experience as an instructor in a language school where I have worked with people of various cultures, mostly university students from Korea and Japan. I have a black belt in taekwondo which shows my discipline, dedication and sense of responsibility.

I won't advise people to lie. I value honesty. I also value individual freedom so they can if they want to. Whatever floats their boat. I avoid lying as humanly possible. I'm not a virgin anymore. That's true.

Gary Granada

May 14 Midweek Musical  

Huggybear's Favorite Song From Gary Granada 

Mabuti Pa Sila 

Photo courtesy of agimat.net

Encounters

May 10-16 Edition

Liking Cebu

The Crudes

Culture Clash

Residents Evil

Liking Cebu

April 10, 2014

Thursday

So many times I've overcome the sweet temptation of judging. As a traveler, I really have to struggle against passing judgment on the culture of the places I'm passing through. 

I'm thankful I found good friends here in Cebu. I'd rather be here than in Manila because of the relative lack of traffic and typhoons. There are exceptions, but my experiences with the locals are consistently negative. Yesterday I wrote about in my journal the story of the new neighbor who deliberately plays his radio too loud.

Today alone there are two more examples. On the lobby earlier (aside from another separate story I wrote on the locals' brazen lack of elevator etiquette) I found it staggering to see so many women here that are noisier and more flirtier than the prostitutes of Manila.

Then, when I was in the office canteen about half an hour ago, I saw a real emblematic scene. The pantry TV was showing Chasing Mavericks. I haven't seen it before and I would have watched it.I go early before my shift just to watch cable movies on the pantry while having dinner.

Chasing Mavericks

Then somebody just switched the channel. I remember him on an earlier scene. He's one of those loud people who are desperate for attention. I saw more superficial people here in Cebu than the entire Luzon and Visayas. But this creature is easily the most pretentious person I have ever seen. That's what struck me the first time I saw him, watching American Idol and projecting an image of sophistication.

Now, he just switched the channel, again to American Idol, just like that. This plastic creature did not even have an iota of decency to even pretend to be considerate. I like Cebu. The place.

The Crudes

April 21, 2014

9:08 p.m., Monday

I was trying to watch The Croods in the 12th floor office pantry. That’s when again I saw  the dark side of the people in this town. 

The more I mingle with the locals here in Cebu, the more I lose my hope in the goodness of man. It really seems that being inconsiderate is part of the local culture.

Just now, I left my ID on an empty table near the TV to ask the kitchen crew to heat my dinner because the microwave isn't working. Some guy with a dark aura sat in my seat while I was in the counter.

Then another guy, whose aura is insidiously negative, came to buy candy. I felt waves of dreadful vibes being next to him. He went near the TV and sat beside the guy who took my seat. They can see that an ID has been left on the table because somebody was sitting there. But they didn't care. I'm overwhelmed by their obviously uneducated behavior.

The Croods

I encountered the greediest and most shameless people I ever met here in Cebu. That's saying a lot because I've been more places that I can write here. A lot of natives here are no different from the territorial power trippers from the slums of Manila.

Culture Slug

April 23, 2014

Wednesday

This is the most sustained culture shock I've ever experienced. I'm now over a year in Cebu and I'm still consistently stupefied by the flagrant lack of basic good manners here. 

If that has an insidious ring to it, it was validated by what I saw yesterday. I was sitting on the floor of BookSale in Elizabeth Mall rummaging through the piles. I heard an American national complaining that he has never seen such rude people anywhere.

"Me neither," I said to no one in particular.

Here's the scene: the American and a Filipino were both looking at the shelves. The Filipino bent down and bumped into the American. It was the Filipino who had the gall to be irate. He told the American that he shouldn't be there because he was looking at the books.

The American said it was obvious that there was somebody at the back. But the Filipino was adamant. It's a typical cultural trait of being territorial, exemplified most viscerally in squatter areas.

"Sir, you should take responsibility for how you are affecting other people," said the American, clearly upset but visibly trying to control his anger.

I know exactly where he's coming from. I'm up to my neck in my encounters like that. The American moved to another section.

"You son of a bitch!" said the Filipino, walking away. It's totally uncalled for. That was indisputable proof of his low character.

"Excuse me?," said the American, stunned. "Are you calling me names?" He went after him.

The Filipino, true to form, scurried away, like the coward he is. It's the uncouth local barbarians like him who give foreigners a bad impression of our culture. He is a disgrace to our country. Either that, or he's the epitome.

"Pathetic bastard," said the American.

"Amen," I murmured.

Residents' Evils

April 29, 2014, Sunday

I'm a traveler, I'm extremely overwhelmed by the sheer number of negative characters here in Cebu.

Just now, in an Internet shop, I saw again how consistent is greed in the local culture. I asked the rude counter girl to print something I downloaded. It was four pages. She asked if four pages, and I said yes.

By the time I was logging out, she charged me for hundreds of pages. She was insisting that I told to print four copies of each page. I was adamant that I will not pay it. I declared that I will pay only what I asked to printed. She changed the fonts so my file came up to seven pages instead.

I said we can go the police or the barangay (village district) captain but I will not pay it. She called their main office and explained to her boss. "Sinungaling (liar)" I said for all to hear.  "I want to talk to your boss," I said, but she put down the phone. As I was going out, she told me not to come back. I never will.

Jonathan Aquino's

Huggybear's Journals

April 9, 2014 Wednesday

This is my Tagalog text marathon to my friends RG, GD and JM in Metro Manila. It's my way of keeping in touch and expressing my feelings

Sa dami ng mga pinagdaanan ko sa buhay, matagal kong pinaglabanan ang mawalan ng tiwala sa sangkatauhan. Subalit, sa gitna ng Ondoy at Yolanda, tuluyan na itong naganap. Ngunit pilit ko pa ring tinatanim sa isip ko na marami pa rin ang mga may mabuting kalooban. Sana madalas ko silang nakakadaop-palad.

Nangyari na naman kanina lang tanghali, ngayong Araw ng Kagitingan at isang linggo bago mag-Cuaresma, na nakita ko na naman na may mga taong ubod ng itim ang budhi.

Ang tinitirhan ko ngayon ay isang maliit na kwarto malapit sa kasalukuyang pinagtatrabahuan ko. Masaya ako nung mga unang buwan kasi tahimik at hindi mainit kaya nakakatulog ako nang maayos. Ngunit dumating ang bagong kapitbahay na sobrang ingay magpatugtog. Talagang dumada-ngundong pati ang pader ko. Hindi yun ang unang pagkakataon. Hindi yun ang unang pagkakataon. Sinabihan ko ang kasera. Kakausapin daw niya pero wala naman siyang ginawa.

Naghihinayang ako, hindi dahil gusto ko ang lugar, kundi dahil mura lang ang upa kaya nakakatipid ako sa gastos at nakakapag-ipon kahit paano. Pero kailangan ko nang umalis. Pang-apat ko nang bahay ito sa Cebu bukod sa Talisay. Nangupahan ako una sa Sudlon, dalawang beses sa Lahug at ngayon dito sa Cabantan. Isa lang ang dahilan bakit palagi akong lumilipat: maingay masyado ang mga kapitbahay.

Marahil hindi maarok ng isip ko kung bakit may mga gano'ng asal. Bakit may mga tao na walang modo at wala man lang ni konting pagsasa-alang-alang sa iba? Kung wala silang malasakit, sana pwede kahit konting hiya man lang. Ang tanging pakonsuwelo ko na lang sa sarili ay hindi ako tulad nila. Sa palagay ko, may naghihintay na mas magandang tirahan na may mga kapitbahay na marangal at may kagandahang asal.

Ako yung tipo na mas gusto ko na nasa bahay lang, tahimik na lumilikha ng mga obra or kaya ay nagbabasa ng mga aklat, kaysa makisalimuha sa madla. Naging lagalag ako dahil sa mga tao na hindi ko talaga masikmura ang pag-uugali. Wala naman akong sariling tahanan kaya walang pumipigil sa akin upang manatili sa kung saan ay hindi na ako masaya. Dahil duon ay tumanim sa isip ko na malaki ang mundo.  Ganun pa man, nais ko pa rin na maniwala na mayroong lugar sa na kung saan maaari kong masabi, kahit pansamantala lamang, na duon ako nababagay, na kung saan ay magiging panatag ang aking kalooban, habang tinatahak ko ang landas ng aking buhay sa ilalim ng langit.

Seal

May 7 Midweek Musical

Huggybear's Favorite Songs From Seal 

Kiss From A Rose 

[Theme from Batman Forever]

Batman Forever

See Our Story On Batman Forever

Stand By Me

Walk On By 

Fly Like An Eagle

Photo courtesy of media.wmg-is.com

Evolve

May 3-9 Edition

New Writing

Bob Proctor

Abraham Hicks

The Impressionist

New Writing

March 22, 2014

10:19 p.m., Saturday

Text to RG

I'm getting my writing groove back. I'm in the park-like mall grounds of Ayala, Cebu.

I've been doing a lot of writing in one of the concrete benches beside the artificial waterfalls since this afternoon.

I was so exhausted by the emotional roller coaster of the past week. I'll go home in a little while to catch up on some sleep. I didn't have the strength to come to the beach with one of my close friends. I consider it an honor to be invited to a family outing. I told him the truth: I needed time to be alone to refresh my mind.

I'm reviving my comatose article on MMK, adding the John Wayne Sace and Maja Salvador episode . So far, I've written the chapters on Twilight, The Lost Symbol and The Rule of Four for my long-term article on recent bestsellers which I started last year. Speaking of which, I discovered only last week that my story on Paulo Coehlo was actually published last October. My latest article is last Sunday, the one with Kiyosaki, which is also the first with my new memoir narrative style. 

Maalaala Mo Kaya

"Posas"

Tomorrow I'll post my latest pictures from January to March 2014 and the "More 2013" photos on my blog, including my pictorial early this morning.

I just added the "Jumper" and "Early 2014 to Late 2013" around Tuesday last week.

While uploading, I was on YouTube on a different Chrome tab, conditioning my mind with insights from Bob Proctor.

I was trying to learn how the Law of Attraction works and how I can get it to work for me.

We come to this world with our minds like a clean slate. So as we grow up, the attitudes we form get programmed into our mind - and that is what our minds manifest as our physical reality.

That is our paradigm. So we need a paradigm shift. If we want to change our life, we have to change our thoughts.

"See yourself living in abundance and you will attract it," he says. "It always works, it works every time with every person."

Bob Proctor Reveals 'The Ultimate Secret' Beyond The Law Of Attraction

My latest find comes from a higher source.

It was just last March 16 when I first heard of Abraham, the entity channeled by Esther Hicks.

The Law of Attraction, in it's simplest essense, can only respond to what's on our minds.

Just that. It does absolutely nothing else.

On a higher plane, there is no judgement, no distinction of what's right or wrong. The creative energy of the universe is continually flowing. But our negative thoughts, made solid by our mental conditioning, block it. We ask what we want from the powers of the universe. But it's not enough, says Abraham. We have to accept it.

"Use whatever excuse you can to vibrate in harmony with those things you've been saying you want," says Abraham. "And when you do, those things that are a vibrational equivalent flow into your experience in abundance. Not because you deserve it, not because you've earned it, but because it's the natural consequence of the Law of Attraction. That which is like unto itself is drawn."

Introduction to Abraham

with Esther and Jerry Hicks

There I was, in the Moment. Alone and at peace.

I was having shawarma rice on the mall park in existential mindfulness.

I've asked the service crew from Leylam to scramble the egg and mix it in with the garlic sauce instead of topping it sunny side-up, and easy on the spicy, palihug (please).

I can hear the piped-in outdoor music. A guy on a guitar wondered if the "moonlight shines on Paris..."

I have a surreal poem, "The Impressionist," inspired by this zen-like song, published in 2007 in Philippine Graphic. Quite expectedly, it leans towards the supernatural. I'll include it in my first poetry collection after my fiction anthology which I'm preparing now. 

"I believe in Art and its role in presenting the world as it is and as it should be - while bathing Reality with a magical, roseate glow that makes life larger than life," as I wrote in the cover letter to the then editor, the late Adrian Cristobal.

"Although  I never had any formal training in creative writing, I think this is the quality that literature professors want their students to learn, and  to use to prove that writers have a significant role to play in making this world a better place. “

“My poem, ‘The Impressionist,’ inspired by French artists, is such an attempt to raise the mundane to the sublime."

The Impressionist

By Jonathan Aquino

I like to paint a portrait

Of you and I as we dance

As the moonlight shines on Paris.

I see you Isabella,

raising a goblet of fire-red wine

Like a flaming talisman

Smiling enigmatically

Like the Mona Lisa

Near the Champs-Elysee.

I dream of France:

The scent of a mademoiselle

In a sidewalk café;

The sweet taste of butter croissants

And bouillabaisse in Marseilles;

the caress of the Mistral winds

in the vineyards of Provence;

the sight of the Louvre across the Seine,

of Saint-Sulpice but not the Priory of Sion;

the sounds of Breton fishermen

and Duran Duran on the Eiffel Tower.

But I’ve never been there but I

See you in my dreams as I

Lay me down to slumber;

Though you’ve been dead for a year,

But don’t look a day older.

***

I looked up in the starry, starry sky. On a different night, I thought to myself, I'll be enjoying take-out dinner in a different park, in a different city, in a different country - but still under the same moon.

Moonlight Over Paris

Paolo Santos

"Does the moonlight shine on Paris after the sun goes down?

If the London Bridge is falling, will anybody hear a sound?

If you follow the sunset, will it ever end...?"