Dream! Believe! Survive!

Author and Pastor John Maxwell tells of a young seminarian discouraged by his overwhelming workload – volumes upon volumes of reading, writing and research, on top of which he has to learn Latin and Greek! A senior put his arm around him and said, “Friend, it doesn’t matter how big the rock is. If you just keep pounding, it’s gonna bust!”

Survivors conquering insurmountable odds awake our noblest ideals and remind us of who we really are – and what we’re still capable of becoming. Here are some true to life stories celebrating the triumph of the human spirit.

A Year In The Shadow

“Don’t worry. I’m going to make it. I’m making you that promise.” Those were the words of Alfred Bold to his wife Joan, even as 80 percent of his body lay destroyed by third-degree burns.

Alfred was a young fireman in New York. On May 1974, as he was checking a faulty vent line, he was engulfed by gas fumes. “Douse your cigarettes!” he roared. “There’s gas in the cellar!”

His commanding officer, Lt. Walter Mischke, sprang into action. “The boiler’s down there! We’ve got to shut it off!”

As they rushed down, the boiler’s automatic switch made a sharp ‘click’. “Run!” Walter yelled. “It’s gonna blow!”

The explosion destroyed half the firehouse, propelling Alfred on the sidewalk like a flaming rag. His uniform was melting and sticking to his skin.

At the Jacobi Hospital in the Bronx, Alfred’s burns were already swollen, threatening to stop circulation. Dr. John Stein, head of the burn unit, ordered non-stop transfusions of plasma and fluids, and placed Alfred in isolation. Dead tissue was scraped using anesthetics, for the pain was unimaginable.

Bacteria had invaded his body. Surgical resident Dr. Nathan Yaker and attending surgeon Dr. Stanley Levenson gambled on an experimental drug to save Alfred’s life and his condition stabilized temporarily. From 194 lbs. he went down to 128. Pulmonary expert Dr. Elizabeth Stein recalled, “We were pouring thousand of gallons of fluids into Al, and he was losing weight before our eyes. This man had 75 to 80 percent of his skin gone. There was nothing to keep him warm, nothing to hold in fluids, nothing to keep infection out.”

One of Alfred’s closest friends was Harold Hoey. On June12 1974, Hoey died saving an elderly couple from the rooftop of a burning building. In an unprecedented act of selflessness, his widow Doris asked Dr. Stein to take Hoey’s skin grafts for Alfred.

A year after his accident, Alfred sat in a wheelchair at the old firehouse. He held Joan’s hand as he gazed tearfully at the large sign proclaiming ‘Welcome Back Al!’, surrounded by the entire Ladder Company 143 with their wives. Then Alfred saw Walter Mischke, leaning on a cane, walking slowly towards him – and Alfred completely broke down. “I just couldn’t hold it in,” he would recall later. “Just seeing him alive and walking was too much! It was wonderful!”

Gerald Moore’s gripping account of Alfred’s miracle, “A Year in the Shadow of Death,” appeared in Reader’s Digest.

Do Not Go Gentle

Herbert Howe was a young teacher working on his doctoral dissertation at Harvard. Having served with the Peace Corps, he was also into sports – boxing, swimming, running, soccer, tennis – name it! So in July 1976 he was stunned when doctors told him that the small lump in his wrist was fibrosarcoma – a rare form of malignant cancer. His odds: an 80 percent probability of death within 5 years.

After surviving his first chemotherapy, he thought things were under control. But he was wrong. The second time was more evil, and he made half a dozen trips to the bathroom in the first hour alone. The next day, he went defiantly to the gym, played eight games of squash and ran all the way home – collapsing on the floor with terrifying retching seizures. He writes: “After the first day of my second treatment, the vomiting attacks were more insistent and prolonged…when they ended…I propped myself against the bathtub and slowly started sobbing.”

His sister Lyn told him where he stood: “I know you want to feel active and that you’re progressing. But Herbie, you do belong to something called a family.”

Herb remembers vividly the next chemotherapy. “A rapid chill spread through ,my body…my body started shaking from the cold, and tears rolled down my cheeks…my teeth started chattering and I suddenly felt dizzy. My stomach convulsed and a stream of vomit shot from my mouth into the sheets. I looked for the bedpan. I couldn’t see it. I threw myself off the bed and groped towards the bathroom. Almost there, then an uncontrollable burst of diarrhea.”

Days later: “I was angry and self occupied as I paced my room. I couldn’t stop walking…I muttered out loud, ‘Why me?’ For the first time I decided that life was unfair. I slammed my fist against the door. The pain crashed up my arm, and I gave a muffled scream. I rested my head against the door and started sobbing. Everything the doctors and I had done seemed unable to stop the cancer…Death appeared truly frightening…nobody was going with me and there was no return.”

Herb still plunged into sports relentlessly. He and his brother-in-law Charlie joined for the first time the 70 mile Memorial Day canoe race at Cooperstown in Boston – and finished seventh. Lin was laughing and crying. “Look at us will you? We did something we thought was impossible!”

Herb wrote his memoir Do Not Go Gentle (Norton and Co. NY), taken from the Dylan Thomas poem: “Do not go gentle into that good night/ Rage, rage against the dying of the light.”

“More than three years have passed since I finished my chemotherapy treatments…after graduating from Harvard, I traveled to Africa, covering Nigeria and the Rhodesian civil war for the Philadelphia Inquirer, then took my present job as a Southern Africa specialist. I have also continued my sports. Every six moths I have x-rays and blood tests. While six more years must pass before I am positively cured of cancer, doctors assure me that I am probably cured…Since conquering my cancer I’ve placed a new value in life. Life now appears as something given to us in trust. We should not waste it.”

Never Quit

7-year old Glenn Cunningham and his siblings arrived at their Rolla Kansa school house on Feb. 1916 ahead of everybody. It was unmercifully cold so his brother Floyd lit up the stove. Then suddenly a huge blast slammed him into the wall, and with growing terror realized his legs were enveloped in flames. They ran blindly home then everything went black.

Upon regaining consciousness, Glenn overheard the doctor’s grim conference with his father. “With Glenn the big danger is infection. If it comes, both legs would have to be amputated. Regardless, I doubt if he’ll be able to walk again. With Floyd there’s not much we can do.”

Nine days later, Glenn saw his mother cry for the first time. Floyd was dead.

Glenn’s legs were getting worse as time went by. A large boil had appeared on his left hip – infection had set in. A friend of his mother offered advice: “You may as well face it my dear. Glenn’s going to be an invalid for the rest of his life.”

“I’m not going to be an invalid!” Glenn cried. “I will walk! I will! I will!”

His mother hugged him and whispered fiercely, “Yes Glenn, you’ll walk again.”

Everyday his mother would massage his leg muscles. And when August came, the doctor squinted at him and said, “Glenn, for six months you’ve been telling us you’re going to walk again. Do you still believe that?”

Glenn broke into sweat as he pushed himself up and slowly moved his right leg, then the left. He tried to walk – and fell down. He was crying bitterly as they helped him back to bed.

A heavy chair his father brought upstairs became his constant companion. “By grasping it’s arms I could myself slowly from the bed to land in the chair seat. Then, using one arm of the chair as a crutch to pull myself erect, I would lean against the back and inch my way painfully around to the front.”

He told his mother the day before Christmas about a surprise present. But first, she has to stand by the door and close her eyes. “ ‘Now open them Mother – quick!’ I took a faltering step towards her. Then another. My head was spinning. Mother rushed to catch me, and we sank to the floor together. It was then I saw my mother cry for the second time.”

Over a year had passed before he was able to get out of the house “with a little more than a hippity-hop gait”. His father told him to hold on to the horse’s tail. “I gritted my teeth as the horse surged forward. I had taken but a dozen floundering steps when suddenly Father stopped the horse. I turned to him fearfully, but his strong face wore a pleased expression. “ ‘You run boy!’ he said. ‘Don’t complain. Just keep trying.’”

When Glenn was twelve, he joined the school’s track race. The principal told him he was too small, so he should run in the Class B category. So Glenn went straight to the Class A line. The guy at the scale told he had to be at least 70 lbs. “The man must have seen the concern in my face as I stepped into the scale, for he hardly glanced at the reading. “ ‘Exactly 70 pounds!’ he announced”

Running was Glenn’s greatest passion. His father had taught him how to pace himself so he was unperturbed when the other boys zoomed past him like rocket ships. And they began to tire, “I put on a little speed. By the time we finished the first half mile lap I had already caught with the two front runners”

Glenn swooshed between as cool as you please but saw something that startled him: some idiot had put a rope across the track! He ducked pass it and the crowd went berserk! Somebody yelled: “You have to break the string to win!”

“Frantically I ran back and snapped the string – I had won!”

Glenn Cunningham wrote Never Quit (Chosen Books Va.) with George X. Sand, in honor of his father’s immortal words: “Run on – never quit!”

Sand concludes: “Glenn Cunningham went on to become the outstanding miler of his age and an Olympic medal winner. Between 1933 and 1940, he won 21 of 31 races in Madison Square Garden and set world records for the 800-meter and the mile. At the end of his track career he established the Cunningham Youth Ranch in Cedar Point Kansas where, for thirty years, he and his wife Ruth helped more than 9000 troubled young people.”

Watch video of Vangelis performing the Chariots of Fire theme live at the Mythodea Concert. Video courtesy of BabylonianMan. Photo courtesy of PresentationZen.com. This story originally appeared in Philippine Panorama

A Celebration Of Life: The World According To James Herriot

Music: the opening theme of the original Dear Kuya Cesar radio show. Images: blue sky, white clouds, rolling countryside, verdant meadows, flowing streams and majestic mountains.

Cut to: sunshine filtering through the swaying leaves of a tree. The camera pans to the distant moorland road where a small figure is pushing a baby carriage.

Cut to: the top of the upward bend of the road. The baby carriage appears first, then the young man pushing it. As they head towards the camera, the “baby” moves and is revealed to be a large greyhound dog.

If writing is acting, then James Herriot is the male version of Meryl Streep. Possessing the spark, the flawless instincts and above all, the humanity, the unforgettable veterinary surgeon from Yorkshire stands in a category unto himself.

The world’s most beloved author celebrates life with his immortal classics All Creatures Big and Small; All Things Bright and Beautiful; and the book that most closely mirrors my semi-charmed kind of life: All Things Wise and Wonderful.

How? Let me count the ways.

Did you ever experience talking to two people about two different subjects at the same time? I have. So did James Herriot. He was examining Nellie the cow’s swollen hoof as her owner Mr. Birtwhistle was suggesting remedies while his son Len was gushing about the village football team.

“I always think it is polite to look at a person when they are talking to you,” recalls James, “but it is different when they are both talking at once, especially when one of them is bent double and the other one is standing behind you.”

When I feel down, I always find healing in solitude. So did James. When he was worrying about Mr. Mount’s sick horse, he left his car on the road and went into the woods.

“Here there was a silence that was absolute,” he writes. “The farm lay in one of the soft places in a harsh countryside; lush flat fields where cattle grazed in comfort and the cut hay lay in long even swathes. It was a placid scene, but it was here in the airy heights that you found true serenity.”

Like Ted Failon, I always thank the Lord for the blessings of life. But in all honesty, I would rather die than lose my freedom. I deeply admire Rodney Traver’s lifestyle: traveling the north England countryside, doing odd jobs along the way, then moving on – with only his dog Jake and a baby carriage for company. He and James met in Mr. Pawson’s farm in Darrowby. The farmer salutes his versatile skills and disciplined work ethic.

“He gave me his gentle smile and again I had the impression of physical and mental purity,” marvels James. “No drinking, no smoking, a life of constant movement in the open air without material possessions or ambitions – it showed in the unclouded eyes, the fresh skin and the hard muscular frame. He wasn’t very big but he looked indestructible.”

When I was a teenager, I learned the hard way that people are not always what they seem. I’ve lost count of those whose PR are as true as election documents thumb-marked by cats. Take Paul Cotterel, the devil-may-care bachelor whom James and I both admire:

“That attractive casualness, the nonchalant good manners, the imperturbability – they all had their roots in the fact that nothing touched him very deeply.”

Paul was dignified even when his beloved dog Theo had to be put to sleep because of Hodgkin’s disease. “He had been able to do the right thing,” says James, “because he was not at the mercy of his emotions.”

So it was a great shock for both me and James when Paul committed suicide. It turns out that he’s been under medication for chronic depression for years. “He had an unhappy childhood from what I made out,” his landlady told James. “Maybe that’s why he was so fond of his dog. He got too attached to him, really.”

One of my most cherished dreams is a world without bureaucrats. If Dante had seen those ER doctors who fuss like government clerks, he would have built another bolgia in hell. But my heart is still filled with thanksgiving because I have also seen a lot of physicians who have risen above themselves to help save lives.

Two of them are James and his boss Siegfried Farnon. One night, a mangled sheepdog (details are too gruesome) was reported in by Police Constable Phelps. James and Siegfried were already dressed for the much-anticipated Hunt Ball, but when they saw the dog, they immediately did a operation that lasted way past midnight – although they both knew that the dog was just a stray.

I treasure the companionship of elderly folks who radiate wisdom and grace. When James takes a stroll by the river with his beagle Sam, they always encounter Mr. Potts with his sheepdog Nip. Mr. Potts is a retired farmer, and they would always talk shop brimming with warm memories.

“They were good days, Mr. Herriot, weren’t they?” he reminisced stoically the day before he died. “Aye, aye. Ah’ve a lot of them days. Hard but good. And awd Nip shared ’em with me, didn’t ye, lad?”

Although I try to see beauty everywhere like in the Tavares song Hardcore Poetry, I love communing with nature more than anyone can imagine. When James was going home after vaccinating Mr. Daggett’s calves in the Yorkshire Dales, it was pure serendipity:

“As I drove away, the somber beauty of the place overwhelmed me. The lowering hillsides burst magically into life as a shaft of sunshine stabbed though the clouds, flooding the bare flanks with warm gold.”

Music: the closing theme of the Dos Por Dos radio-TV show

All dogs go to heaven unlike their masters who keep returning like vote-shavers. For thousands of years I have roamed the world through various lives but it is my adventures in the present sojourn that made me who I am inside, and for that, I am grateful.

Always remember: as long as the world still turns, and as sure as God made rainbows, life is a miracle – beautiful, captivating and magical.

As the poet Cecil Frances Alexander (1818-1895) wrote: “All things bright and beautiful,/ All creatures great and small,/ All things wise and wonderful,/ The Lord God made them all.”

James Herriot photo courtesy of TodayInLiterature.com. This story originally appeared in the 2007 My Favorite Book Contest, Lifestyle Section, The Philippine Star, July 1, 2007

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True Faith: Timeless Insights From Norman Vincent Peale

A highly strung young man was feeling guilty about his past and apprehensive about his future. Then he came across the book A Guide To Confident Living by Norman Vincent Peale, and he was able to say later, “I realized that what I had been seeking all these years had indeed been the thing closest to me – faith in God.”

Pastor, best-selling author and motivational speaker Norman Vincent Peale D.D. has brought inspiration and spiritual renewal to millions, and in his own way, made this world a better place. Personally, I cannot imagine my life without his influence. Allow me to share with you some life-changing lessons from a book he wrote with Dr. Smiley Blanton called The Art of Real Happiness.

It is very empowering to me, and I hope it would touch your life like it did mine. As Dr. Peale wrote: “The unconquered and the unconquerable of this world are those who have mastered the art of faith. They draw constantly on this inner source of strength for they have acquired and hold ever fresh in their hearts an abiding faith in a Higher Power, and in their own destiny.”

Peace of Mind

The greatest trait of all is self-respect. “If a man’s esteem for himself is a poor, weak thing, his love for his fellow man will be no better.” Self-knowledge is the key to self-control. Each individual abides by his own code of honor. “A wise person will try to avoid feelings of guilt by avoiding the acts that cause them.” He will fine-tune his moral compass and anticipate the possible consequences of his actions.

“But as human beings, we are also prone to moral lapses.” It is when we violate our own principles that we feel anguish. “And so it is an absolute rule of successful living that one must be able to feel forgiven” if he “seeks God’s forgiveness, and his own as well.”

We need to learn to let go of yesterday. “To press on with a mind clear of a sense of guilt, time must be permitted to close over the past, and the energies must be concentrated on the present. Only so are we able to live at peace with ourselves.”

Pressure

The human body is the most highly complex mechanism known to man – even a computer can’t do jumping jacks. It requires proper maintenance for maximum efficiency. The body and the mind are one, and we need to be in an environment that is conducive to mental, emotional and spiritual development ion the same way we need exercise and a balance diet.

Strike a balance between work, rest and play. Evaluate your abilities and goals honestly. Use your resources to complement your abilities so you can reach our goals. And after giving it your best shot, let Go do the rest.

Depression

Hope is a miracle in itself. A hero lies in all of us. Accept that negative thoughts can take root and destroy us from within. “To be rid of worries from the past, practice the art of forgetting.” Dr. Peale shares this Biblical gem as a personal mantra: “Forgetting those things which are behind, and reaching forth unto those things which are before, I press toward the mark.”

Say positive affirmation everyday until they become second nature. He advises adopting Scriptural verses as our own, such as Christ’s reminder that we are more loved than the sparrows in the field. Learn to recognize trivialities and ignore them. He quotes William James: “The essence of genius is to know what to overlook.”

Honor the inner sanctum of your soul. “Practice the art of imperturbability.” Meditate. Empty your mind. Then fill your mind with prayer and inspiring thoughts. “Practice feeling God’s presence”. A young man whom Dr. Peale taught wrote: “With God’s help now, I am learning to meet my daily problems and overcome my fears. I have experienced an amazing change and outlook in life.”

People

Cardinal rule: “Never criticize anyone until you have prayed for him first.” Constructive criticism is a test of Christian love. “These are 5 key words for success in you relationship to others: Love, Politeness, Criticism, Praise and Thoughtfulness.” Dr. Peale cites a Chinese proverb: “The enemy is best defeated who is defeated with kindness.”

Marriage

The glory of marriage is building a loving and serene home for the couple and their children. “Before you marry, be sure that you know that your minds as well as your hearts are attuned to each other.” A couple should evolve together. “Do not allow one of you to stand still, while the other marched ahead.”

Keep in mind that marriage is a union of two equals, sharing both the triumphs and the disappointments. “Learn the wisdom of talking things over frankly.” Discuss the problem with the aim of solving it. “Do not be timid about discussing money.” Open communication involves clear understanding about finances.

Avoid unfair expectations. “Your wife cannot be a mother to you, nor your husband a father.” Value loyalty. “Never discuss your mate with family and friends.” Treat your children as unique individuals and “help them develop.” Be part of a positive social circle. Surround yourselves “with friends who have ideals similar to your and who believe in the same things.”

Remember that marriage is a vow. “The determination to make it work is of the utmost importance. Its success may depend n this attitude.”

Bereavement

There is nothing as painful as the death of a loved one. But oftentimes, we punish ourselves with guilt. When somebody dies, his soul looks back and remembers only the good things, and “all he sees is the fineness of your character and the greatness of your love.”

First: It’s okay to cry. “There is a healing force in the free expression of sorrow. The period of mourning is necessary and natural.”

Second: Let go. Do not deny that he is dead. Avoid euphemisms, “just say ‘died’. It helps your accept it.” Treasure the happy memories and be thankful that such a beautiful person has blessed your life.

Third: Life goes on. “Even in the midst of grief, try, as best as you can, to go on with your usual tasks.”

“As a fourth great step in meeting bereavement, we suggest turning to the Bible.” You will find some comfort here. The Scriptures can teach us to trust in God with all of our heart, for he is our light, the lamp upon our feet.

People come and people go – alone. It is an act of love not to let them “become too dependent on us or we to them.” And above all, “we can best prepare for death through the unshakable belief that we shall meet again.”

Growing old

It is wise to always step back and appraise our life. Age doesn’t matter; there is always time “to cultivate generosity, kindness, unselfishness, sympathy, tolerance. an appreciation of the value of every individual as an individual, and a willingness to let other people think and feel differently than we do without being angry at them.”

You are not your body, which “grows old, but the spirit need not. The real person need never deteriorate under the decaying effects of time.” It’s all in the mind. “As long as the mind remains alert, flexible, tolerant and undominated by hatred and resentment, it can function at peak efficiency well beyond three scores and ten.”

At any time in our life, “above all in our later years, we certainly should take as our motto: Live one day at a time.” To be forever young, you don’t have to Cory Quirino. “As long as one wakes up each morning and eagerly thinks what great things may happen that very day, one is young.”

And the ultimate fountain of youth is God. “To live with power and to achieve self-fulfillment is to bring God from the shadowy edges of the mind into its bright center. It is to master the most demanding, and yet the most rewarding, of all human achievements, the art of real happiness.”

[The Art of Real Happiness also presents the immortal 12-step recovery program of Alcoholics Anonymous, and is a treasure trove of unforgettable characters.]

Norman Vincent Peale photo courtesy of ESPN. This story originally appeared in the 2006 My Favorite Book Contest, Lifestyle Section, The Philippine Star, May 14, 2006.

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You Are A Child Of The Universe

The ancient wisdom of looking beneath the surface of things teaches us that while physical attraction alone can move the earth and sky, there are eternal truths more superior and profound. Few would deny the value of character. What matters most is the heart and soul. INTEGRITY. This is the deepest index to one’s character. The idea actually goes beyond the principles of honesty and trustworthiness. More than anything else, it serves as a solid anchor to the Real You. It provides a shield from the things that violate the inner self. Being firmly grounded helps you develop the confidence to deal with life and the tolerance needed in a quite imperfect world. The key word is ‘consistency’. As Thomas a Kempis said, “The testimony of a good conscience is the glory of a good man; have a good conscience and you shall ever have gladness.” Find yourself – but don’t quit your job. INDEPENDENCE. The greatest achievements of feminism is the Dutch Treat. Honestly speaking, we find women who know what they want and how to get it incredibly attractive. An independent woman is a survivor, she’s destiny’s child. So assert yourself and learn to cook – but don’t be dominant, we really hate that. Oh, except in romance. Actually, Chapter 3 verses 7-8 of his Second letter to the Corinthians show the ideal lifestyle: “You know how you ought to imitate us. We did not live lives of disorder when we were among you, nor depend on anyone for food. Rather, we worked day and night, laboring to the point of exhaustion, so as to impose on any of you.” LOYALTY. Life is a constant change but some things remain for a lifetime like family and friends. Lovers come and go but a friend is forever. It is brainless when a successful career alienates the people who really matter. Discern your real friends and stick to them through the ups and downs – yours and theirs. As Mahatma Gandhi said, “Adversity is the crucible in which friendship is tested” How they perceive you is a measure of your life. It’s nice to have peer support – but avoid borrowing money if you can help it. SOCIAL AWARENESS. It’s one thing to meet to a drop dead gorgeous vamp in a social gathering but it’s another to know that she divides her life between parties and parlors. There is absolutely nothing wrong with having a little fun before you die but a purpose in life makes it meaningful. There are certain things you can do to make this planet a little cleaner. Maybe we can’t change the world – or maybe we can? Audrey Hepburn once said that if you want to lose weight, share your food with the needy. Light your little corner – but you don’t have to be gloomy about it. As Bismarck said, “A really great man is known by three signs – generosity in the design, humanity in the execution, moderation in success.” INTELLIGENCE. Believe it or not, there are actually people out there who don’t know there’s a middle ground between Startalk and Battle of the Brains. We admire girls who can speak their minds with eloquence and passion but less on the former and more on the latter. Be somewhere between CNN and a brick on the wall. Talk sense but don’t talk too much. It is insufferable to be with a girl with opinions about everything – and I mean everything. As Thomas Aquinas said, “A scrap of knowledge about sublime things is worth more than any amount of trivialities.” ENTHUSIASM. Greet the sunrise, stand on top of a mountain, gaze at the sea, watch the clouds sail across the deep blue sky and hear new born babies cry – then ask yourself if life is worth living. There are two sides in a coin: you can either sing Napakasakit Kuya Eddie – or What A Wonderful World. As Plato said, “The world is God’s epistle to mankind -- His thoughts are flashing upon us from every direction.” SELF-ESTEEM. Few things in the universe are more repugnant than a person who will do anything just to get attention. Having a healthy regard and mature acceptance for oneself is the secret key to happiness. The worth of a person comes from within. So there’s no reason to jump into bandwagons or to get that Satanic henna tattoo just because everybody is wearing it. As Swami Radhakrishnan said, “Only the man of serene mind can realize the spiritual meaning of life. Honesty with oneself is the condition of spiritual integrity.” HUMILITY. Did you ever notice that those who try to overwhelm you with their superior knowledge inadvertently betray their lack of it? Only a handful of people on this planet know how to actually listen, most of them are too busy displaying their achievements and sophistication, or sometimes just plain brilliance. And the way things stand, you can either be like them – or be yourself. As Diogenes said, “Modesty is the color of virtue.” DISCIPLINE. It’s like sunshine, basking everything in it’s glow. It manifests itself at all levels of your being: mental, physical, spiritual, emotional -- at the same time reflecting on how you go about doing those things you do. The good news is that it can be improved and developed and sharpened if one really works at it. But whether one has it or not, it will show – like sunshine. As Confucius said, “The superior man is slow in his words and earnest in his conduct.” DISCRETION. Finding fault with everyone and everything 24/7 until Doomsday will not add a single iota to your value as a person. Constructive criticism, if it is really sincere, should be done in such a way that it will not offend the dignity of the person involved. And making fun of people is about as funny as a child molester. As Lavater said, “If you are pleased at finding faults, you are displeased at finding perfection.” COMMON SENSE. As Descartes said, “That our will is free is self-evident.” If you’re invited to a wedding and you accept -- then got hit by a bulldozer on the way to church, you don’t blame God, or the priest, or the bride, or the groom, or the guests, or the caterer, or mass media, or Malacañang, or the CIA or your evil seatmate in third grade. But then again you never know: it might be a conspiracy between aliens from Andromeda and marijuana growers from Bondoc Province. SIMPLICITY. Anybody with a technicolor hairdo should get a shrink. And if your friends think your nose-ring is cool, then you’re in the wrong company. It’s better to heed Socrates’ prayer: “I pray Thee oh God, that I may be beautiful within.” STRENGTH. Of character, that is. Let barbarians stay at the gate. As Thackeray said, “True courage and courtesy always go hand in hand. The bravest men are the most forgiving and the most anxious to avoid quarrels.” Courage under fire, grace under pressure, that sort of thing. Remember, gold is purified by fire. And if you find I Will Survive too scintillating, you might want to try Go The Distance by Michael Bolton, Second Wind by Billy Joel, Never Surrender by Corey Hart and Angel by Sarah McLachlan. After all, as Goethe said, “One can’t always be a hero, but one can always be a man.” SELF RESPECT. Billions would rather look foolish in public because they’re afraid to be alone. Are you one of them? Being the life of the party doesn’t mean being the object of ridicule. Your self-worth does not depend on other people’s opinions. You can spend the weekend being a puppet – or spend a quiet Saturday afternoon reading The Book of Proverbs – which is more worthwhile than office memos. As Aristotle said, “Dignity consists not in possessing honors, but in the consciousness that we deserve them.” EMPATHY. The mere fact that you have someone who tries to understand your situation by putting himself in your place shows how blessed you are. And if you become a person like that, some sort of walking 700 Club, then in your own little way, you make this world a better place. The key word is ‘Consideration’. If you have ever given comfort to someone in distress, have been a shoulder to cry on, have been a sanctuary to a weary soul, then you have not lived in vain.-- but of course the more the merrier! As Albert Einstein said “Only a life lived for others is a life worthwhile.” FAITH. Everything we’ve been talking about is meaningless without it. With Jesus Christ as the essence of your heart and soul comes a sense of tranquility that is absolutely indescribable – and absolutely real. He says so Himself: “Ask and you shall receive; seek and you shall find, knock and the door shall be opened for you. For whosoever asks, receives, whoever seeks, finds, whoever knocks is admitted.” [Luke 11:9-10] Photo courtesy of EagleVision. This story originally appeared in Philippine Panorama, February 6, 2006 Your comments and links are welcome

How Literature Can Change A Life

Beginning today, I will start all over again. They said that yesterday is a dream, today is a reality, and tomorrow is a vision. On this day, I’m letting go of the past and taking hold of the present – in order to shape and mold the future to what I want it to be. Beginning today, I will rediscover and appreciate my uniqueness. There has never been anyone like me in all of history, and there never will be. Like in the Kenny Loggins song For The First Time, I am looking in my eyes, for the first time, I am seeing who I am. I am getting re-acquainted with my inner self – and it’s a wonderful feeling. Beginning today, I will conquer my emotions. I shall be the master of my fate and captain of my soul. Through steady effort and God’s grace, I am achieving peace with myself and with the world around me. Some say that success is getting what you want. In a way this is true. But I believe that real happiness is wanting what you get. But is it possible to have it both ways? Can you be successful and happy at the same time? The more fundamental question should be: Why should happiness be separated from success? They say it is lonely at the top – but how can that be if you had been a light leading others on the way to the peak? To illustrate, let me tell you a story. Once upon a time, there was a rich merchant named Hafid. He had the biggest trade empire in all the land. He was extremely wealthy, highly respected – and truly happy. Hafid had it all: fame, fortune and inner peace. He even had a precious gem: a true friend. Erasmus was Hafid’s loyal bookkeeper – who was shocked when Hafid told him to distribute all his treasures to all those who had been loyal to him and to the less fortunate because Hafid had grown very old. Hafid asked him, “My trusted comrade, is your memory of sufficient strength to recall the first command you received from me when you entered my employ many years ago?” Erasmus remembered: “I was enjoined by you to remove, each year, half the profit from our treasury and dispense it to the poor.” Hafid said, “Did you not, at that time, consider me as a foolish man of business?” When Erasmus admitted his initial forebodings, the merchant continued, “Will you now admit that your concern was without ground?” So you see, the secret of success with happiness is being able to give back, of being able to share your blessings to those who deserve them. But there are other secrets. And those secrets are contained in ten leather scrolls that Hafid keeps in a chest in a secret room. I have read those scrolls – and I have become a better person by gaining a deeper understanding and appreciation of my true worth and my role in life. It is because a man who has brought inspiration and spiritual affirmation to generations revealed them to the world. This is why one of my favorite books of all time is The Greatest Salesman In The World by Og Mandino. And so, beginning today, I will always keep in mind that the “The only difference between those who have failed and those who have succeeded lies in the difference of their habits, Good habits are the unlocked door to failure. Thus, the first law I will obey, which precedeth all others is – I will develop good habits and become their slaves” Above all, beginning to day, I resolve never to forget the counsel of Hafid’s foster father Pathros: “Failure will never overtake you if your determination to succeed is strong enough.” Og Mandino photo courtesy of OgMandino.com. This story originally appeared in Philippine Panorama Your feedback is welcome and will be answered. You can link your blog using EasyHyperLinks

The Unforgettable Love Story of Christopher and Dana Reeve

Life is about growing up and finding our place in this world. But it doesn’t always turn out the way we think it should, and things are not always what we perceive them to be. Bad people can also do good things, and good people sometimes do bad things, as well. These are lessons in life, and with them comes wisdom. 

But what we may never know is why bad things happen to good people. 

Shortly after Christopher Reeve’s accident, his three-year old son Will looked up to his mother and said his daddy can’t play him anymore. The boy seemed lost in thought and then exclaimed happily, “But he can still smile!”

It was an event that stunned the world. After portraying the Man of Steel in one of the most successful film series of all time, Christopher Reeve – Superman – became paralyzed from a sporting accident. In his memoir Still Me, he shares the pains and the joys, the agonies and the triumphs, of a man who would not give up, and he shows us the true meaning of courage, heroism and faith.

  A Sickening Crash 

It was May 1995, and Reeve was competing in an equestrian event. His horse, Buck, performed well at the first and second jumps. But on the third, Buck suddenly froze. The momentum catapulted Reeve and he smashed into the ground – headfirst – with a sickening crash.

“Within seconds I was paralyzed from the neck down and fighting for air like a drowning person.” For almost a week he remained unconscious. Upon waking, he found himself at the intensive care unit of the University Of Virginia Hospital. Dr. John Jane, head of neurosurgery, discovered that Reeve’s top two cervical vertebrae were destroyed.

His wife Dana was shocked to hear that there was a strong possibility that he may be able to breathe on his own again. The doctor explained that the skull was severed from the spinal column, and was pessimistic about the odds of survival.

Reeve was aghast. “Suddenly it dawned on me that I was going to be a huge burden to everybody, that I had ruined my life and everybody else’s.”

His thoughts became morbid, and suicide kept flashing on his mind.

“I’ll Be With You” 

Emotional turmoil raged like a tempest within him. Reeve was deeply thankful for the family and friends who came. “But the time would come when everybody had to leave, and I’d lie there and stare at the wall, stare at the future, stare in disbelief.” In his dreams he was whole again, living a normal life. It was painful every time he would wake up, and the weight of reality would press heavier still.

One morning, he gazed into his wife and their eyes locked. He tried to speak, but the ventilator prevented him. He mouthed, “Maybe we should let me go.”

Dana started to cry. Despite the extreme agony, she declared, “I am only going to say this once. I will support you whatever you want to do because this is your life and your decision. But I want you to know that I’ll be with you for the long haul, no matter what.”

  “You’re Still You” 

Christopher and Dana met in June 1987. He was in a club with some friends when Dana went onstage and sang The Music That Makes Me Dance. It was love at first sight. Totally smitten, Reeve went backstage and introduced himself. He was already making a name for himself as a movie actor, so he was startled when she turned down his offer of a ride home: “No thanks, I have my own car.” Totally crestfallen, all Reeve could say was, “Oh.” Undaunted and even more intrigued, he tried again.

“I have no idea what we talked about. Everything seemed to evaporate around us. I thought to myself, I don’t want to make a mistake and ruin this.”

They began dating. He hit it off well with her parents and she instantly bonded with his two kids Matthew and Alexandra. “It filled me with joy,” he reminisced.

On April 1992, Christopher and Dana were married.

That morning when he was struggling with the ventilator, he remembered her words at the hospital: “You’re still you.”

In a flash it dawned on him. “I knew then and there that she was going to be with me forever.”

  A Huge Success 

Reeve was warned that he had a 50/50 chance of surviving the operation. “I lay frozen much of the time, thinking dark thoughts.” His most formidable problem was breathing. “I couldn’t take a single breath on my own, and the ventilator connections didn’t always hold.”

There were vivid moments when he would lie awake at night, apprehensive that they might pop-off anytime. “The feeling of helplessness was hard to take.”

One day, immersed in a bleak mood, Reeve was unnerved when the door suddenly flew open, and a squat man wearing thick glasses and a surgical gown scurried in and proclaimed – with a Russian accent – that he’s a proctologist and he’d do an examination now! Reeve was frightened that the drugs had addled his brain, but he then joyfully recognized the weird fellow.

It was Robin Williams!

Then Reeve did something he though he had forgotten.

“For the first time since the accident, I laughed.”

The operation was held on June 5, and it was a huge success. He was now able to breathe on his own.

  To Last Forever

A fund-raising dinner in honor of Robin Williams was to be held that October by the Creative Coalition, an organization of people from various artistic fields. Reeve was determined to attend, but his greatest worry was the trip to New York. “It would be the fist time I would be in public since the accident in May. Would my muscles go into a spasm as they often did?” 

He and Dana talked it over. They were fully aware of the physical risks, but they both agreed that the psychological benefits would be incalculable. And so the tuxedo was brought out, and Reeve braced himself for the adventure. Being strapped in a moving van was terrifying. “As we hit bumps and potholes, my neck froze with tension, and my body was racked with spasms.” 

Upon arrival, he was rushed to a hotel suite equipped with a hospital bed to recuperate from the ordeal of the journey. “The whole experience was intense that I had anticipated.” Reeve was to present a special award to Williams. 

On his wheelchair behind the curtains, he was trembling with fear. He had absolutely no idea what to expect. He even wished he could just simply vanish. Then he heard his name being called. It’s time. 

“As I was pushed onto the stage, though, I looked out to see 700 people on their feet, cheering.” The whole auditorium shook with the intensity of the applause. The entire audience was in tears, inspired, uplifted, and grateful for his heroism. It was crystal clear: Christopher Reeve is Superman. 

The ovations seemed to last forever. It was more than a tribute. It was a benediction. 

A celebration of life. 

Photo of Christopher and Dana Reeve courtesy of Engagements.ca Your comments are welcome and will be answered. You can link your blog with EasyHyperLinks

Pure Heart: The True Signs Of Inner Beauty

A man’s worth is within. Physical beauty is seen by the eyes, but inner beauty is felt by the soul. As taught in Raja Yoga, inner beauty is the form and color of the personality – the way he speaks, moves and dress. And the true measure of a soul is virtue. “Virtue is the beauty of the person,” according to the teachings of Brahma Kumaris. The light of virtue shines “into the body, into the environment, and ultimately, into the fiber of the planer itself.”

Purity

Imagine a clean, simple, sunlit room. There is silence. Then somebody walks in, then another, then a third – and peace has been shattered. There is a space inside of us where outsiders are forbidden. We create our own miseries when we let other people violate that inner sanctum. “Meet a truly pure soul and he can walk right through you leaving no mark at all, only a sense of light and optimism,” wrote Ophellia San Juan in her Philippine Graphic column “Alternate Realities.”

Lightness

Lightness comes upon touching the essence of your being that has remained unchanged throughout you spiritual pilgrimage. And with it comes laughter – touching everyone yet remaining free. Thus, a private discovery becomes a way of life. Like a spring, it grows into a river, and flows into the lives of others.

Gentleness

Gentleness is the serenity that comes from inner strength – the knowledge of who you are and what you are capable of. And with this come awareness, tolerance and understanding. The perfect symbol is a tree – giving shelter without being dominant, nurturing without interfering. And like its swaying branches, it softly brushes the earth without taking root.

Sweetness

Sweetness is innocence borne of wisdom. This comes only by journeying inward – and uncovering the meaning of life beneath the shams and delusions of the world. Contemplating death means living life to the fullest. “For before dying, it is only that line you see, not the life, and suddenly you understand the whys and the whats, and afterwards, you move on,” wrote San Juan. “What is really sweet can never be time’s victim, for sweetness is the quality of a person whose life has touched eternity.”

ADAPTED FROM AN ARTICLE BY OPHELLIA SAN JUAN Photo courtesy of LangStore. This story originally appeared in Philippine Panorama, April 15, 2006 Your comments and links are welcome

Why All Dogs Go To Heaven

Allan Parton’s tour of duty in the Gulf War left him half dead. A father of two children, he had to literally start life all over again: learning to think, talk, read, write – all the things most people take for granted. Then a miracle happened. Endal came into his life. Every morning Endal would help the wheelchair-bound veteran out of bed, open the bathroom door, jumps up to open the light switch, lift the toilet seat, brings him his clothes and toiletries. Then he opens the kitchen cupboard, removes the cereal bowl, spoon, knife and fork and voila! Breakfast! There’s not a bone of contention about it, Endal is Allen’s best friend. And yes, he’s a dog – a highly trained 3-year old yellow Labrador. And he knows how to use an ATM too! Service dogs are specifically trained to help people in various ways: from leading the blind to assisting seizure victims. Reader’s Digest once featured uncanny canines warning their masters of incoming epileptic attacks. “The predominant explanation seems to be that of a canine’s sense of smell, estimated to be at least 300 times more sensitive than a human’s, is responsible,” reported Lynn Waldsmith in her April 2001 article. “These dogs are amazing!” gushed veterinarian Kim Kachanoff, whose mother, Merrily Weisbord, is the author of Dogs With Jobs. Among those are Mas and Star. Mas is a black Newfoundland owned and trained by Ferruccio Pilenga, who dives from helicopters into raging rivers to save swimmers. Once, Mas swam towards a boat hurtling towards the breakwaters, caught the lifeline by her teeth, and pulled the stranded sailors to safety. Meanwhile, Star is the first fire-investigator dog in Europe. This 4-year old black Labrador helps Clive Gregory to sniff out clues. Gregory, a fire inspector from West Midlands Fire Service in Birmingham England, says Star can trace the ten substances usually used to start fires: gasoline, kerosene, acetone, diesel, turpentine, cellulose, lighter fluid, white and/or mentholated spirits and barbecue fuel. “Star is more efficient than the latest high-tech equipment,” he says. Willingly losing your life to save lives is the unquestioned seal of heroism. Brad and Sherry Steiger, authors of Dog Miracles: Inspirational and Heroic True Stories, give tale after tale of selfless tail-waggers that teaches human what they ought to be: A Jack Russell terrier named Scooter shielded Patrick Trotter from a dozen venomous rattlesnakes. A Hungarian bird dog named Blitzen wrestled with a mountain lion to save an 8-yearld girl. A Shih Tzu-spitz mix named Tippie woke up Charles Atwood while his house was burning. As soon as Atwood was out, Tippie rushed back to save her new-born puppies – but never returned. “Tippie gave her life to save me,” cried Atwood. “All I could do was watch the trailer burn and cry my eyes out.” On the lighter side, Dr. Bernard Wasserman, a veterinarian from Brooklyn N.Y., tells of a mangy mutt that was about to be put to sleep but was adopted by a woman whose husband eventually became the U.S. Ambassador to England. Then one day, who else would come to dinner but the Queen and Her Majesty petted the pooch. This and other shaggy tales came from the horse’s mouth – Dr.Wasserman in his book The Dog Who Met The Queen And Other Stories. And lastly, a Lassie-like tale from Drew Barrymore. The Charlie’s Angels star was saved from a fire by a dog she saved from a pound. She had take home two strays whom she named Flossie and Templeton. In the early morning hours, a fire suddenly engulfed her house. She and her boyfriend Tom Green were roused by the Labrador-chow mix Flossie, Templeton and another dog, Highla Flopsy (where did she get these names?) and together, escaped from the blazing $3 million inferno. “Flossie barked and literally banged their bedroom door. She was really the main alert that there was a fire,” said Eddie Michaels, Drew’s spokesman. A dog is a man’s best friend. But unlike some humans, dogs are “brave, intelligent, loyal – and they save people’s lives,” in the words of Kachanoff. “They’re an inspiration to us all.” Photo and Allan Parton and Endal courtesy of the Daily Mail. This story originally appeared in Philippine Panorama Your comments and links are welcome